Personally, while I repressed and concealed all through my first marriage, my second is much better -- I opened up to her (in terms of "I'd like to ....") about 2 years in, and it's been frankly pretty great. While she's ambivalent about it (occasionally buys me little femme gifts, supports me dressing in the house a couple times a week, but is horribly worried about going out...) it's let me open up and do something I repressed a desire for for 35 years.
