I am a strong believer in revealing all early in the relationship and well before marriage. Also, there needs to be a complete understanding of how cross dressing desires can change and intensify with time. The cross dressing desires that one feels at the age of 20 for example are not necessarily the same as what one would feel at 30.
Before I married I revealed that I was a transvestite. That seemed acceptable and the marriage went ahead but the reality was hard to accept and tensions rose. I thought that what I "had" was more of a fetish for lingerie and I was not prepared for the change in my desires and the growing need to dress completely and be more and more feminine.
With the Internet and sites such as this one the resources that were pretty thin just a couple of decades ago are now very rich and should be used. In particular the experiences of people on this site and their stories of how they found their feelings change and intensify over time are very useful. I know it can be expensive but I would recommend good professional counseling for all couples where cross dressing is concerned. Yes, it would be a terrible blow if the relationship falls apart with the news but how much worse would it be to find out later.
Reveal early and reveal all would be my vote.
