Thank you everyone for your responses. It is a touchy subject for many. Myself included. I wish I had the courage to be myself and not put myself or my wife through this.
For Melissa and Teresa especially, After a long time and then a reveal, or a long time without any communication on it, it is obviously so difficult. I would only remind you both, that she hasn't packed her bags because of it.....
It isn't just our wives that need counseling! We do to, or at least some way for us to get help in our own acceptance, or in learning how to deal and live in a life where this is no longer just our own little secret. HOW to compromise, how to accept our partner's limitations with this, how to express to them what we need and desire in a way which does not cause relationship harm.
It is only further obvious to me with those who talk of difficulties after many years of a non reveal, and even of ones who have early on of the trap. How we CDers get pulled into it. By our wish to be non CDers and or TG.... to the thought that we could control it. (we are told we can if we want to or try hard enough, it is a mental sickness after all) ( or so we are told)
To the later revealers, there is more than just your dressing and or your now disclosed femininity that your partner is now dealing with. While we CDers have an increased fem side, Most of us cannot truly get inside a GG's brain and understand how a lie or an omission effects them, myself included. Even if we get it somewhat, what a woman feels from this goes so far beyond the dressing. And the dressing alone is a major challenge besides. They are being hit with two bricks to the head at once, although I truly believe the one about the non disclosure hits harder.
To those who have lived many decades without revealing, I am not going to advise you at this time to disclose. Although if you truly feel the need you should. perhaps it is just time for you. To just do so because it is the "right" thing to do, no, I do not feel this way, personally. I was set to take my secret to my grave when I asked my wife to marry me. That may be the case for some of you. Although I chose to out myself, my choice to accept her difficulties, and the compromises of less dressing time, for her to not participate in it are my way of acknowledging my mistake, my fear I had and my unfairness of not disclosing. She didn't know all about me. But, I want to stay with her so I will adapt. Not even adapt really, but to maintain much of my life as it had always been anyway. Now, I actually have more than I did before.
