Long before1985 and again before 2000...that is once at the beginning of my first marriage and before I was engaged to my present wife. The reveal with my first wife was after she had figured it out for herself...she had coaxed me into putting on her bra and panties for some bedroom play, and my enthusiasm gave me away. I told her what I knew, so far as I knew it, but didn't tell her my fears..that I might be 'one of them'. Many years later that marriage failed for other reasons, and in contemplating a second marriage I told everything I knew...at the time.
People change, people learn and grow. You have and you're not exactly the person that married in 1978. Internet or not, we all learn more, explore and discover or reveal things about ourselves. You've answered your wife's question in a truthful manner. She may not be happy about the answer, but if she chooses to be angry for choices she made 36 years ago, that's not going to make her life any better. Neither will making you suffer for not telling what you didn't know.
