My own feeling on this, since I have a difficult time (I have a full time job already that is very stressful) coming up with tests to prove my theory, is that it's not "nurture" for me. I can't think of any environmental conditions as a child that might have lead to my crossdressing. Eliminating that leaves "nature", which means it's genetic, and my Mother hinted at this once when she told me she thought my father was a closeted crossdresser (which would certainly explain a lot of his behavior - hyper masculine, former Marine Force Recon, etc etc etc). So that being said:Originally Posted by Katey888
1. When I was young I hid this away thinking that it was "wrong" and there was something defective about me. As I learned over the years that I'm not only not alone in the world, and there are many others like me, I started realizing that I'm not defective, broken, or insane. With that realization came a few things - peace of mind is one, but also that I need to be honest in my relationships going forward. So YES, this is something that needs to be declared to a potential spouse, and well ahead of time. In fact it's my opinion that you need to tell this to anyone you consider dating more than once. If they don't like crossdressers now, they're NOT going to like them later, and if you hide it then they'll have TWO reasons to hate you. Hiding your crossdressing from them and expecting them to suddenly accept it 5-10 years later is like barrelling down a cul-de-sac at 70MPH expecting it to turn into an Autobahn when you get to the end. It's not going to happen, there's going to be one terrible wreck, and a lot of people are going to get hurt. Including you.
2. This is only a "terrible burden" because our society as a whole is really stunted and emotionally backwards. We're socialized from a very early age that "boys act this way, girls act that way" and while a few examples are barely tolerated (look at message boards about Danica Patrick some time for an example, some of the completely ignorant comments made about her because of her sex), it's not acceptable for society as a whole to see us as human beings. I know some people will complain about this and give anecdotal evidence about how in San Francisco or some such that it's perfectly fine and nobody cares, but you're not in Jackson Mississippi, Hole-in-the-wall Texas, or Who-knows-where Nebraska or MOST of the puckered up backwards world who really DO have strong and violent opinions about crossdressers. This is why I don't go out dressed in San Angelo. I know way too many people who would like to show me how "Jesus hates crossdressers an' gays" (or vice versa) - I've heard them say it. And when I confront them on it ("Seriously? You DO know they're human beings too right?" // "Yeah, but they've gawdt tha DEBBIL in dem" or similar response). With all that being said, for those who are very close to me - they know. And they make their decision to either stay with me or go. Long before Roxy and I tied the knot I told her. She's very important to me and I wanted her to know so she could make her decision then, and happily she's fine with it. And I don't think it's a "terrible burden" for her either. In fact we discuss women's clothing, styles, shoes, makeup - all sorts of things. My oldest daughter also knows, and while she says she doesn't want to see me that way yet, I know she's amused when she can discuss shoes with her Dad.
3. Not a GG, but my two cent's worth: What if GGs knew they might be passing on homosexuality? That is absolutely genetic, and any hetero GG has a chance of having homosexual children (they certainly DON'T come from same sex relationships do they.) Are GGs willing to stop having children completely, because they "might" have gay/lesbian children? Same thing with crossdressers, if my theory is right. And I've already said my piece about "the reveal" - it should be done before everything goes very far in the relationship. Refer to my cul-de-sac reference.
~Melissa
