I HAVE felt uncomfortable in drab. But, it's NOT what u may think:
Since I'm always uncomfortable out in vanilla land dressed, I've tried meeting up with groups of T friends in drab. It hasn't worked.
Because while I feel quite comfortable dressed in drab amongst the muggles, I felt VERY uncomfortable in drab among all my dressed T friends!
I guess it's difficult to have the possibility of dressing "both ways" isn't it?
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
I struggle with this almost every waking moment. Yeah, I feel great anxiety in guy mode, a lot. Not always, I have guy friends and enjoy guy things. But, lately, I don't like it, I feel trapped in it.
While I am nervous about being en femme, amongst the muggles, my internal strife and anxiety dissipate.
But, I'm a husband and a dad and I want to fulfill those roles.
"I want you all to call me Loretta." - The Life of Brian
Completely and utterly comfortable dressed and being a guy. That's who I am. Part of who I am likes to wear women's clothing and is learning to transform myself to LOOK like a woman, seeking to interact with other like minded "girls".
I will never be a woman, nor want to, not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just not me. I am a crossdresser, in the most literal definition of the word. Having lived my entire life surrounded by women (Mom, sisters, wife, daughters), I have always had female things around me. I told my wife that her "half" (more like 4/5ths) of the closet was like Disneyland to me, shoes, purses, dresses, etc. Thank goodness we wear the same shoe size and she'll allow me to borrow shoes and purses when needed.
With the crossdressing compulsion ingrained in me early in life, I have come to love and enjoy the female world, so to speak. Nothing better than watching a cute outfit come together, from simply a skirt to something I am damn proud of and looking forward to showing to the world!
In closing, as I tend to ramble here, to quote a friend here in the forum, "I like my junk".
I struggle with this on a daily basis, its my ying an yang of life. I wonder what it would be like to not have to deal with this, I find no answers. The internal war has been going on since childhood, its nice to have this forum knowing I am not alone.
Hi Claire,
I do suspect this is one of those criteria that settles us at someplace along the CD/TG/TS spectrum... (only ONE, mind...)
I'm almost entirely happy (lazy!) being a guy, but I love the times when I can get the girl together too - infrequent as it may be...
With the strong opinions and experiences of folk here who do live a 24/7 lifestyle, I've often pondered the 'what if' question: if I had complete freedom, how much would I do it... And I think it would still only be for special events - there'd just be a fair few more than today... but not 100% - not even 10% probably...
Interesting one...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Your situation seems fairly similar to mine and I second Kim's feelings.
It's gotten more and more difficult over the last few years to continually change back and forth and I find myself annoyed, sometimes mad that I must. If it were not for my wife I would most certainly be full time.
Retirement is on the horizon and we are thinking of relocating. At that time it may just come to pass that he leaves this state and I take up residence in the next. We'll see what transpires.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
This is how I feel as well. I don't feel uncomfortable in drab any more than I feel uncomfortable breathing. It is ubiquitous, commonplace, and a total non-event. I'm used to it! A couple of years ago, in my own "self-analysis" of what was going on and what I could do about it with my ever-growing desire to dress in feminine clothes, I concluded the appeal for me in dressing in feminine finery was that it was still a novelty, something very special, associated with joy and happiness (not to mention a bit of titillation). which was why it was so rewarding. I recalled the old saying "Every day can't be Christmas," which I understood to mean a special day is no longer special when it is commonplace. So to try to break the novelty appeal of dressing, I made the effort to dress constantly (when at home), even on days when I really didn't feel like doing so. I pushed it to make it such a commonplace event that I'd get bored with it. Hmmm. That didn't work out as expected. I always found contentment and peace when I dressed, despite being commonplace, and that was even true when I really was too tired or worn out from work to do so. So my own search for where my personal boundaries are for this continue as well.Originally Posted by Krisi
I have been having those thoughts lately , after a long day at work there's nothing more that I enjoy then slipping on a nice maxi Dress to lounge around the house with my earrings a little makeup. Then settle in for a nice cup of tea or read a magazine. I would really love to do it out shopping but I am afraid of bringing more struggles into my life. I really enjoy the time my wife and I enjoy now even if I only dress at home.
I feel uncomfortable in drab all the time. When I go a long time without dressing (for me that's 2 or 3 days) I start getting edgy and irritable. It is an immense relief to get back to my normal self. En femme, that is.
You know what I find intriguing? I have observed that it is perfectly normal and acceptable in our culture and society to see women shopping for men's clothing and also wearing them (with the exception of shoes, I suppose). People don't even think twice about it. And hardly ever, if ever, does the stigma 'cross dresser' ever get attached. And yet that is technically what they are doing when they are doing it. Are any of them connecting it with 'feeling' like a man? And yet here we are discussing whether any man here feels uncomfortable in men's clothing (drab). Incredible! There are differing reasons why men cross dress. These differences come to light in this kind of thread. Its been an interesting read.
Women do not cross dress as you portray it. They wear women's pants, made and deigned for women. Same for shirts, jackets, etc.
I got rid of 'guy mode' months ago....and won't go back to
that again...lol!
I've never been happier or more content in my life!
♥
I am going to have to wear guy clothes for a short while in four weeks time, I am not looking forward to it.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
My lack of comfort shows up when I am presenting in one of my genders too much of the time. Usually (but not always) that means too much time in drab (it's just life!). Sometimes I don't really know what my problem is until my wife asks if I need some Tina-time. It's great to have such a perceptive wife!
The best threads here are the ones that provoke introspection and self awareness. This is one of those threads. As someone who is an occasional neck down dresser and every day underdresser, my take on this is a bit different. I don't feel uncomfortable in drab. Sometimes I think about this CD business and shake my head at myself in disbelief. Other times the urge to put on a dress and shoes with my daily hose is unbearably strong. I would like to take the plunge and try makeup and wig but don't have any opportunity for that. My wife is still trying to get her head around my desire to wear a dress and I don't want to to go too far too fast for her.
So while I don't feel uncomfortable in drab I would like to dress more and more often. Make sense?
Last edited by Samantha Clark; 01-02-2015 at 06:20 PM.
While I'm not uncomfortable being a guy, there are times when I wish I could wear more of my female clothes more openly as a guy. Then there are other times I like going all out and being as passable as possible.
My biggest regret this year was not being able to go to a fancy New Years party and getting all glammed up.
On the other hand I'm not really sure that I'd like to be a female full time either. I guess I enjoy the flexibility of having a foot in both doors.
Brenda, it makes perfect sense!
Not me. What I have learned about myself is that I'm more guy than girl in a lot of ways. I enjoy all the drab things in my life, even competing for alpha male status with the rest of the herd. I am protector and provider for my family and I like that. I enjoy cycling, fishing, building and fixing things, and doing so in drab. So, to me, there is a lot about my drabmosphere that I embrace.
Dressing affords me the opportunity to put the drab aside for a while and refresh from the soul outward. In that sense most times dressing is a need or a calling rather than a desire. However, I have no appetite for any change to the comfortable duality I already enjoy.
Hi Katey,
Indeed! I'm fascinated by the range of responses this and similar threads have generated. I look forward to hearing how others feel about this.
I might quibble with being "settled" somewhere along the TG spectrum. For me, the position seems to shift with time .. sometimes to the left (blue?) and sometimes to the right (pink?) but maybe, as my original post indicated, I'm starting to settle more toward the "pink" side. Although I'm not sure that "pink" equates to TS....
BTW, thanks for being a great moderator!
Hugs, Claire
Last edited by Claire Cook; 01-03-2015 at 07:24 AM.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
I'm actually very comfortable in drab. I spend most of my time that way. Being en femme is a nice occasional thing I enjoy.
Last edited by Andrea Renea; 01-03-2015 at 07:44 AM.
hi girls, i never dress completly in drab ,i am always wearing some womens stuff. in drab i dress like most the gg dress . womens jeans ,hoodie bra and panties , ugg boots so i just blend every thing . hugs love lynda
I am comfortable in my drab work clothes while working. However as soon as I get home each day, I am into a skirt with pantyhose and flats. I am just more comfortable in a skirt. I don't think I would ever want to live full time, but then again I am pretty much full time at home.
Hugs
Ellen Jo
A slightly different perspective about dressing for you. For forty years I thought that I would pass, but never ventured outside. Then after working on my body, face etc., I decided to test the water. Apparently, I completely passed and I felt such joy. In the last few months I have gone out dressed many times, and the last time I felt a little disappointed. I had taken on the challenge, met it and had won. I should have been elated. What else was next for me? Then after dressing at home several times and feeling so happy, I concluded that I should just concentrate on hugging the joys of my female being, and not at all think about challenges. Wasn't my sadness just wacko! Has anyone else experienced this situation?
While I have all kinds of respect for those of us who 'pass', we still don't have that gear.
We can be empathic as hell, but we don't FEEL those things. We WANT to, but we CAN'T.
Understand your limitations, and be as receptive and open as you can be. We may not be genetically female, but it isn't for lack of trying.
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I have to say, that i am like Doc Robby Sherry said, on this issue. Uncomfortable in drab, among dressers, and Tg. Uncomfortable as Alice around general public.
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