I want you to think of the most shameful, dispicible thing you have ever done. Something that literally everyone you know in the world would condemn you for, unless you got extraordinarily lucky. Now I want you to imagine looking into your child's eyes, and explaining that to them, then having a discussion with them about how the life they've known up to now, is over because of that.Originally Posted by Sierra_juliette
If you get lucky, it might not go that way. But the odds really and truly aren't in your favor. But the potential payoff is that you get to feel better about not being dishonest
On the other hand, you could just keep your mouth shut and hope for the best.
Every. Single. Day. Of. Your. Life. That hole gets deeper, and the potential consequences become more and more drastic.
Tell me again, how it pays to be always truthful, and how ridiculous we all are to carry on in secret, and how the choice is just so obvious and simple .
It isn't fair. All the way around it isn't. For us, to have been born this way, in a culture that simply will not tolerate it. That's not fair. And it's not fair to our wives. And it's not fair to our children and loved ones.
we live in a world that is not fair, and life is a series of choices that are often between the lesser of two evils.
I have respect for those of us here who have stayed closeted, because I lived that nightmare for 17 long years. Eventually I came out, and it didn't go badly. In fact most of my fears turned out to be unfounded. But you know what, it could have gone bad. Really really bad. And that choice has essentially destroyed lives of many on this forum.
I get your frustration, but guilt trip threads like this one are as much of a problem as the ridiculous over generalizing threads you're calling out.
The decision to reveal should not be taken lightly. There are costs either way, and everyone's situation is different.
