From a GG's perspective

[Nikkilovesdresses]

If we tell early on when there is no harm no foul, it is more likely that our perspective future partner will be ok with it...

But what about the many who come to this late in life, decades into a marriage? I've read enough examples here to know that not all had the urge when they were young, and a great many others honestly thought they could 'man up' and push the feelings away.

It's just not straight forward for many of us, not the black and white issue that SJ seems to believe it is.