Your posts really struck me.
I am glad you are seeing a professional to help you sort this out, and I don't think you should talk to your wife about it until you have a clearer idea of what you are going to want or need.
When I came to this board it was because I was in serious crisis. After repressing and controlling my feelings and keeping my secrets for so much of my life I had accidently outed myself in an embarrassing way. That event opened the flood gates to what I had been trying to keep locked up inside, and I came here as a crossdresser and thinking well I can learn to enjoy the crossdressing and stuff - which would hopefully help me deal better with what I was really feeling. That did not work, and I realized pretty quickly I was not a crossdresser. I was really terrified of what the truth was, and I knew what it was, I just wanted to avoid it as long as I could. I'm not trying to scare you, just hope you explore honestly the feelings you are having with the psychologist.
