Great post Paula Q, and I pretty much agree with all of it. One thing I would ponder, and I do not feel any need to add any more letters, but that for those of us who are CDers without a desire to transition, likely because we have a male identity that we wish not to shed, WE can be somewhat even more confusing to the cisgendered. For a person like you, you are in a way cisgendered. It is just that your internal identity is opposite your biologically born physical identity. Those who are TS are basically women trapped in a man's body. I believe that it is an easier concept for those not in the Transgender spectrum to be able to wrap their heads around than a "crossdresser"
The majority of members here are caught somewhere in the middle. I believe that the reason why "CDers" are largely ignored, or just not accounted for in terms of the media is that there is the "normal" side to us. And we CDers can run to safety of our normal male identity. Also because it is just so darn confusing of a concept, wishing to present as female but not wishing to become one. It is such a subjective intangible state, as we CDers are in a gender purgatory of sorts.
