R u a woman? Or, do u wish to be one?

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

To paraphrase Prince, "I'm not a woman, I'm not a man; I'm something that I cannot comprehend..."

I truly feel stuck in the middle with "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right..." I have never really fit fully anywhere I've gone, anywho I've been...

I've had my "Man Card" pulled by "alpha males" so often that I think it's been permanently revoked. I have lived with being "XY" for so long that I'm not sure I have the ability or strength to "cross the line" permanently. I have acquired trappings of masculinity, but never really became masculine. I learned the thought processes of femininity (or a very twisted and male mutilated version thereof), but never received the guidance to become feminine. I am a chimera. A mosaic being, with pieces of all but belonging to none but myself... Even in a crowd I feel alone...

So, short answer... Yes? What is "woman"? I think I have a mind-body disconnect somewhere and I am experiencing rejection symptoms like a transplant gone horribly, terribly wrong...

Oh holy Christmas... I just realized exactly how much downer that was. And yet, I can't (won't) change it. If I do, how is this any different from what I have done for decades before? I only hope that if you read this and identify with it, know you aren't alone...

[Jaylyn]

I'm a man that has something in him that makes me want to wear women's clothes, and makeup. I enjoy it. I enjoy also being a male I've wondered at times though how it would feel being a female and if I were born a female I'd probably end up thinking how it would feel to live like a man. I enjoy dressing but will remain a dresser with the male parts.

[Tracii G]

I'm somewhere in the middle between the two genders.
I do feel like a girl in a boy's body most of the time. The male "bits" are just an annoyance these days.

[Sandie70]

An interesting and confusing question. I suppose that deep down I've always wanted to be a woman. If I had been free to explore my feelings at an younger age I even might have loved to transition - become a woman for real. Certainly, I enjoyed great pleasures as a man, but I also despised the male brute within me and many times in my life I would have gladly left that world behind without a thought.

But now, when I think of giving myself over completely to being a woman, I am left to question - what type of woman? My desires to be feminine are probably as much envy as anything else. As a man I would look at an attractive, sexy woman and feel the power she possesses - not the other stuff... low pay, being a second class person in a male dominated world and more. Yes, that feeling of power is subjective on my part.

Of course, I would still love to be a woman - without the negatives. And right now, my crossdressing allows me to indulge in these hidden desires and fantasies in such a way. I know this is selfish, but if you look around you at the real world, an average woman's existence is not altogether a fairy tale. 90% of the women I see do not embody what I would want to be. So I have blocked these women out of my mind and reach out to the woman who inhabits the perfect world I would live in. A beautiful, feminine, girly, kind and caring world that lives deep inside my psyche.

And I crossdress. For brief moments I am able to be someone and something that is exactly like the ideal vision I have of womanhood - the vision I would be. I become my dream.

And I love it.

[Judith96a]

When I was a boy I sometimes fantasised about being a girl. As a man I have fantasised about being a woman. And that's all it ever was or is or will be - a fantasy! Because, though I love all the feminine trappings, I'm a man - not über-masculine or very macho but...!
Now, if someone would give me the opportunity to switch at will between having a "well built" 6ft male body and having a 5' 9", size 14/16 female body... But THAT really is the stuff of fantasy!

[docrobbysherry]

I modified my original post because I think folks were missing the point of the doctor's supposition as I understood it.

That some child trans already believe they R the other gender. While others simply WISH they were!

[Alexis08]

I've asked myself this question several times lately. After thinking carefully, I came to realization that I'm probably just androgynous. Despite it, I'm happy I was born a man instead of woman for different reasons. The male body has a more gender neutral look, it resembles a child's body more than the female one does, and i think the benefits of being a man outweigh those of being a woman.

I modified my original post because I think folks were missing the point of the doctor's supposition as I understood it.

That some child trans already believe they R the other gender. While others simply WISH they were!

If I wish to become a woman? No, I'm happy to be a crossdresser.. I think crossdressers are usually more feminine than GGs.

[antonyio]

I have aways felt a girl inside, but my parents turned a blind eye and tired to knock it out of me,fought all my life with it,now since I no-longer speak to my family the ture girl is coming out and getting stronger in me than the old male me,i agree it should be looked at as a child,not turned ablind eye to

[Dana3]

I to would describe myself as neither, but a culmination of both the masculine and feminine ~ androgynous if you were, that shifts between the two from day-to-day.

[Laura28]

Boy that's a tough one to answer. I love dressing and the feelings I have. I like be the men. But would I like to be a woman? I have said I wish I was but do I really.Like the say the grass always looks greener on the other side right? Knowing what I know now and if tomes would have been differnt when I was young I would have strongly considered it. However with my life now family friends and my identity as to who I am , I would say no I am a man who loves to dress as a woman and it is what it is.

[ShayLeigh Dominique]

Owwww.... your poor mother! I was born a baby boy.

(I'm sorry. I sometimes can't resist injecting a little levity... no disrespect intended. )

I've read this particular post a hundred times Dianne... I just now got it.

And the sad thing, this is the kind of smartalek remark I have made/would have made had it even occurred to me...

[Tina_gm]

I will have to refer to my username for this....


Am I a woman? I think a definition(s) of what a woman really is is in order here. Unfortunately I do not see a consensus forming any time soon. There is Female gender. That is anatomical. Well, I am definitely not that.

I am feminine. Femininity as we know it today is far more common for females than males. If being a woman constitutes having more femininity than masculinity?.... then I am close to being a woman. The GG's on here will argue different, and I am not challenging them on this at all. I do know that I have real femininity, as real as theirs is.

I am too also masculine. My username is such because my femininity and masculinity bounce all over the place. Overlapping at times too. My masculinity is authentic. Nothing fake about what there is of me that is masculine. I am not trying to rid myself of it. My femininity I mostly keep under hard wraps. I do so as to not cause conflict for my wife and kids, and for myself I suppose too. That too is authentic. It is not seen though.

There are times when I do wish I was a woman, because then I would not have any issues if I wanted to go shopping, or of interests or of my feminine traits and mannerisms which I do my best to contain when in public. I do wonder sometimes if I would have been better off as a woman. The hypothetical poof syndrome, or fantasy, yes, in some ways I think I would be better off, but I also know that I would not be better off in all ways of my personality.

The parts of me that are more masculine would likely suffer the same as my feminine traits do now. I have zero maternal instincts or traits. In fact basically zero nurturing instincts or traits of any kind. My wife always finds that so puzzling that I can be so feminine in some ways, but not in those ways. I don't strive to have any of these

I could go on and on with the differences of my dual gender feminine/masculine traits. Depending of the definition of what a woman is, I could say yes, partly, or perhaps "like" a woman. My desires to be one stem from those feminine traits which are at odds with my birth gender. Not enough that it makes me seriously consider to transition to be a woman. If it wasn't such a process, the thought of it might be somewhat more appealing perhaps, but even then, I would still find myself at odds and with a conflict of masculinity that I do have.

[PaulaQ]

I always wanted to be a woman -- turns out the reason for that was because I am one.

[reb.femme]

Hi Sherry,

Like you, I'm a late bloomer too and never had any gender issues as a kid or an adult. However, I absolutely love my girl time. I spent 24 hours totally femme over the weekend with my wife and I just didn't want the day to end, but there's too much male in here for me to consider changing. I'm a 'common, all-garden' cross dresser who loves getting his girl on, but that's as far as I go.

As my wife often points out, I get to experience all the best bits of being female but without the problems of period pains etc.

Rebecca

[justmetoo]

Sherry, I don't believe I am the "opposite" gender and never have. I assume you mean female (however one defines that). I would only wish to be female if I could've been born genetically, physically female. I have no need or desire to go through any sort of "transition" to female nor even to live or dress as female full time. I enjoy my guy side and my femme side. 2 sides of the same coin.

[kimdl93]

With children, I would be inclined to accept and accommodate the child's clear declaration of their gender, if it is clear and emphatic. But most of us didn't have that clarity in Early childhood. At best, we had inklings and inclinations.

Now in my case, decades later, with the benefit of experience, counseling and a ton of self reflection, I still find it impossible to answer that question in a simple, declarative manner. I obviously concede that I have a male body and have lived the majority of my life in the manner of a male, in some cases perhaps overcompensating a bit for the inner conflict I have always felt. Today, I can more comfortably acknowledge that I am transsexual than I can assert that I am a woman. But at the same time, living in my natural habitat and natural attire, I seldom think of myself as anything other than female.

[Adelaide]

Honestly, I did NOT know what I was feeling when I was younger. There was no internet to learn about it, not any professional help to help me discover what I was really feeling. I knew I was different though....If I had known then what I know now, I would have most probably transitioned.

[Stephanie A]

The flippant side of me says I want to be a woman when I am dressed and made up because the feelings and desires are so intense, this happens less and less now that I am dressing up more frequently. I am more relaxed and at ease not so passionate and intense, when I dress. I am instead more comfortable with the reality that I am feminine too that I love to allow this to come out. So does this mean I am more woman in reality? I think so. I always have loved to visit with women one on one, or in small groups. So my initial response is that I am both male and female. My cd expression has helped me to realize that. So it is a hard journey and who knows for sure where it goes, but so far, wow I am so glad that I am experiencing it.

[Jean 103]

If I answer from when I was a child, I wanted to be a girl. Growing up in a small town and as there was no Internet yet. I had no idea it was possible. Fast forward to today, I have been looking to answer basically this same question. I don’t feel trapped in a male body, but if I could transition I would. Even if it meant I would have to pose as a guy to get work. And yes I know I’m in the minority on this site.

[bobbimo]

After I came out to my wife about 5 years ago. A lot of things became very clear about my youth. I alwasy enjoyed looking at the sears catalog, now I know I wasnt looking at the girls I wanted to wear their dresses.
When playboy went to full nudes I was disappointed. I like them in sexy outfits because I wished I could look so good. And on and on.
Whe I was growing up there was no knowledge base about being able to change your sex, or that you were not a queer if you liked to wear girls clothes. How far we have come.
My gender profile tells me I need both genders in my life to be happy and thats true, but if I was growing up now I would be able to explore my femme side and maybe make that my stronger gender??
Bobbi

[Joanne108]

No I am not a woman. I sure have fun dressing as close as passable as I can! I've been complemented a few times while out and dressed.

[NancyJ]

I do not believe that I am a woman--my anatomy and the face I see in the mirror as I shave in the morning reminds me that I am not. But do I wish I were? Yes, yrs, yes! I wish I had come into the world as a girl and that I did not have the body I have. I do not, as others have mentioned, enjoy being a man. I am happiest thinking of myself (and I know I am pretending) as Nancy. I do not believe that I really know, or could know, what it really would be like to be a woman, but I have come to realize that for me it is about more than the clothes. Nancy

[OCCarly]

Up until I was about five years old, I was simply not aware of gender. Before then my parents never socialized my brother and me with other children that I can remember, and I did not know what gender I was, and did not care. Once I became aware of gender, I thought I could choose, and I wanted to be a girl. By the time I was seven, I realized that being a boy just felt wrong, but by then I also realized that I was locked into it whether I liked it or not. I also thought it was still possible to be a girl by growing my hair long and dressing like one. Until I was about ten, I also thought that girls had penises.

So, FWIW, I am a slightly butch girl, stuck in 52 year old, five foot seven inch tall, 160 pound male body. I like to dress sexy, but I don't like frills, ruffles or lace. I like gardening, drawing and painting, but I also like driving exotic cars on the racetrack. I read romance novels and I also read science fiction. And that is just me.

ShayLeigh Dominique
What she said. That just freaking nails it.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

Do I wish to be one? (In my definition of this, born female?) Yes.

Otherwise, do I want to become one? No. I have never felt like I was in the wrong body.

Am I happy with my male side? Yes.

Does my dressing fulfill my desire to approximate and experience what I find attractive and interesting about women? Most definitely.

[Cheryl T]

Over the years as I've explored myself in relation to my dressing I've come to believe that yes, I am female inside. The extent of this is yet to be determined. Whether or not at some point I proceed with transition ... time will tell, but at present that's not where I'm at.