An extremely different family problem.

[Krisi]

How did he get his nails painted? Did he do it himself or did you or your wife do it? Why? Why is he given pink sippy cups? Is pink the only color available?

I suspect I wouldn't have the problem of wanting to dress up in women's clothes now if my mother hadn't dressed me as a girl and fussed over me when I was a baby and too young to know any better.

I suggest not painting his nails (any color) and giving him other colors of sippy cups. Stop guiding him towards gender confusion. If he decides later, when he is old enough to understand, to be a crossdresser or transgender, that's fine. As it is, your parenting is confusing him and will cause him problems later in life.

[Jazzy Jaz]

I completely disagree!

[Jorja]

There are a number of trans girls who new at 3 or younger, and I've even met some. They were probably trans even earlier, but didn't know how to verbalize it.

Let it play out, but you should take it as an early warning.

Yes, I understand this because I am one of them but.... most children do not have a sense of identity at that age. It is way too early to say this child is trans. It should be noted but not worried about. As the child ages and still continues to like the girly things then there may be reason to suspect. Kids can pick up or drop likes and dislikes in an instant. You should be looking for a reoccurring pattern to what this child chooses over something else.

For example, put an equal selection of boy toys and girl toys out for the child to play with and see what he chooses most often. Lay out boy clothing and girl clothing and see which he chooses most often. Allow him to experience life as a boy and as a girl as see which he chooses most often. This is NOT a one time thing. It may take several years to be sure. As the child begins to talk well, listen to what he says. If he is saying I am a girl not a boy, well then, you have your answer.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Is he/she TG? Who knows? If so, well, so be it. If not, that's cool too. Sounds like your reaction is good, "If that's what you want, kid, it's your choice."

Your Dad's response though.....Try this attitude maybe. "I'm not forcing, or encouraging him, If he is, TG or TS in some way, thems the breaks, trying to suppress or change it will just pile up problems for the future." - "You're not helping, feel free to say you don't agree, but don't vent around my child."

[nikkim83]

Truthfully the first time he painted his own nails saw my wife doing them got curious and sat next to her and did it himself. We keep all color cups available pink ones were for his cousin. We allow him to make those choices.

[Sarah Beth]

When my daughter was three all she wanted to play with was trucks and legos. She had dolls she didn't play with and hated it if she had to put on a dress. By the time she was five you couldn't force her into a pair of pants it was all about Barbie dolls and dresses, even in the winter she wanted to wear a dress couldn't understand why she couldn't wear a dress to go sledding. Then she got to junior high and all she wanted to wear was jeans. The first she got married was by a justice of the peace and she wore jeans. About two years ago she got for a second time and this time she did wear a dress. She told me the one she bought for the wedding meant she now owned three dresses.

I would worry about any of it. Kids go through stages and phases. Just be supportive and let things play out. Don't try to force things let it be natural whatever it may be.

[OCCarly]

I read somewhere that 60% of people between 14 and 34 years old want to do away with the gender binary altogether and acknowledge the reality of a gender spectrum and gender fluidity. I do not know who did this bit of demographic research, but Facebook, Google, and the big dating websites are acting on it, and letting people designate their own gender in a LOT of different ways. The writer of the article also noted that a large number of universities are moving rapidly toward gender neutral restrooms as well, and that the young folks had already moved far past Caitlyn Jenner at breathtaking speed. The whole article reminded me of the predictions made in Alvin Toffler's "Future Shock."

Even on this forum, I note that it has a stable membership of mostly older folks. In some transgender forums, I see a fast, steady turnover where younger folks show up, learn the ropes, transition, and then leave. They don't need the support of the forum once they transition. And this, I suspect, is why we have very few younger members here. The young folks have already moved beyond the need for this.

My point? You have to raise a child for the world that (s)he will live in, not the world Grandpa lived in, or the one Grandpa is deluded enough to think still exists out there.

[Krisi]

You probably read that on the Internet. In the "old days", information was published in books and it was checked before being published. The Internet has made it possible for anyone to claim just about anything and present it as fact. The "gender binary" is not going away anytime soon. It's been around since the beginning of time.

[Tracii G]

Leave the kid alone and don't read too much into it.
At 3 he has no real concept or male and female much less a way to express it verbally to a gender therapist.
Kids change on a weekly basis they will like something one week next week its something else.
As a CD yourself at least you know the signs to watch for as he starts growing older then you can intervene and help guide him.
Best to let him be a kid and grow up like other kids.

[jigna]

It is their life. Let them decide.

[CONSUELO]

Just be protective of the child and let him develop. Being told that certain behaviours were reserved for girls and others for boys was very confusing for me when I was small. I found it rather frightening and learned very early to suppress aspects of my character. I hope t.hat you can protect him from harmful comments by adults who don't understand

[ChristinaK]

I say, let him be who he wants. We have such richer lives than muggle men, don't we? A little training on appropriate times to be a boy might be warranted so he doesn't have to suffer in Kindergarten. Good for him. Just think how much he'll understand and empathize with you later.

[suchacutie]

There is a reason that we remember very little from our early childhood as our brains are changing rapidly. The only way he will know about his actions at this age is if someone tells him about it layer in life. Now is the time to let him explore, and for you simply to be observant. It will be a couple of years before any preference is seen, and socialization in school will play a role as well. He is lucky to have parents who are alert to the possibilities.

[OCCarly]

You probably read that on the Internet. In the "old days", information was published in books and it was checked before being published. The Internet has made it possible for anyone to claim just about anything and present it as fact. The "gender binary" is not going away anytime soon. It's been around since the beginning of time.

Actually it was an online article in Fortune magazine. http://fortune.com/2015/06/29/gender...ary-companies/Money talks. As for the gender binary, it has been around in the European/Judeo-Christian tradition since the beginning of time. However, that is just not true of other societies. My wife comes from a tribal tradition (Malay/Cebuano) that has recognized four genders since the beginning of time. Then there are the American Indian tribes that recognize "two spirit" people. Sorry, but the gender binary is just not universal, and nonbinary concepts have originated independently in entirely separate parts of the world. The fact that these tribes have been forcibly "Christianized" does not make the gender binary any more valid.