What is feeling feminine to you?

[Marcelle]

Hi GM,

I guess each of us will define it as it relates to them. In your case it is just a feeling more at home in your skin sort to speak regardless of which gender you are presenting.

For me, I struggle with this as honesty, I don't think I can answer the question what it feels to be feminine or for that matter what it feels to be masculine. I find in the end when people irrespective of gender discuss being either masculine or feminine, it always comes down to societal stereotypes (okay . . . not always but that tends to be the consensus . So when people discuss feeling more feminine they attributes emotions like being more empathetic, caring, nurturing, loving or past-times more related to perceptions of being a woman such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, primping or different likes more related to stereotypical feminine pursuits such as watching romantic movies, reading more feminine oriented literature, bonding with other women, conversing about women things (whatever that may be). On the other hand we tend to relate masculinity with being brash, in your face, bread winner, strong and past-times best reserved for stage coach drivers and cowboys (spitting chewing tobacco and grunting ). IMHO neither of those defines what is masculine or feminine but legacy issues of what society dictates is such.

For example one my GG friends is a ranked MMA fighter, she likes high speed, low drag activities, hates romantic movies, would rather talk shop with the guys, likes to dress in PT gear or jeans and t-shirts and has more body art than most dudes. Does that make her masculine or feminine? IMO . . . neither. She is a genetic woman who is living her life as she sees fit. In my own case, I am a genetic male who sometimes identifies as a woman and sometimes as a male. I have had heated conversations with my male friends about work related mucho macho stuff while dressed as a woman and conversations with those same guys about vacuuming (interesting story BTW) while dressed in combat fatigues. With the exception of changing my dress and presentation to be more in line with whatever gender I am identifying with, I think my concept of who I am is the same irrespective of gender. I like the same things, I have the same conversations with the same people, engage in the same past-times. For example today I identify as a woman but my share of the yard work still has to get done and I still had to take my dog for a run this morning. So, I shaved as close as I could this morning, no make-up, no wig put on my female running attire and a hat and went running. After I got back, I put on a pair of women's khaki shorts, a tank top, boots and the same ratty hat (still no make-up or wig) and just finished cutting the lawn and will now be laying some cement walkways . . . Okay, the kid ain't pretty (especially sans make-up) and I look nothing like a woman (except the clothing and pink work gloves . . . wife's little fun when she bought them ) but in my heart of hearts I am a woman today . . . not very feminine (in that stereotypical way) . . . just a woman working in the yard, sweaty, dirty and being eaten alive by deer flies .

Cheers

Isha