How can I accept myself for who I am? Really struggling

[Katey888]

You may have inadvertently addressed your own questions...

First:

I have an obsession. I literally feel the compulsive urge sometimes to wear panties/dresses. I hate myself for it, but I feel like if I can put on the clothes for an hour and climax, the need goes away.

and finally:

... I don' really want to develop some sort of "stimulation" addiction.

Sounds like this hope may be too late. While the obsession itself may not be a crime or damaging, the developing obsession you're describing can be. And this might also be a little concerning...

I then read about people who have urges to have sex with children ,kill people, steal, etc and realized that this (the crossdressing fetish) is pretty harmless I guess. I also really sympathize with those people now because I realize that the pain I feel is probably nothing compared to them.

(My italics/parentheses and bold)

You can't equate the psycho- and sociopathic urges you've referenced here with a sexual addiction or a clothing fetish of any sort - and sympathising with those who express that degree of violence is either very naive or seriously misunderstood. Perhaps you didn't mean that the way that it came across...? Nonetheless, I also get the feeling there is an undercurrent of your ethnicity and culture in this too - a repressive environment is perhaps fuelling your need to rebel in any way you can...

Way too much going on here and probably more than we can see - yes, you need to speak to someone professional: Stat.

Katey x