I know this is not what leads you or other TSs to express yourselves, but sexuality is a prime motive for many CDers. In fact, don't most CDers start off by masturbating while dressed or while fantasizing about being dressed? And once they experience that high, it sticks, even if it becomes less sexual with age. It has not been sexual for my SO for years, but it most definitely started out that way.
To the OP, you should just bite the bullet and try it. You've been wanting to meet-up with folks on CL for years now. It's the only way to know whether it is for you, other people's experiences don't have a bearing on how you are sexually wired. Unless you just enjoy talking about it?
You ask if being with a man will make you want to dress more. This all depends on how sexual the CDing is for you. Some CDers can get lost in the fantasy and they can maintain the illusion they are women even when having male-on-male sex. Just be smart about it and meet the person first in public, also let someone know where you will be when you do meet-up for sex. Bring your cell phone and let the person you are meeting know that people know you are there. Also, don't forget to use condoms.
My SO did experiment with men and this is how he determined that it wasn't for him, even if he does occasionally have homoerotic fantasies. Fantasies are not related to what arouses us in real life. I have a fantasy that would literally be impossible to reconstruct in real life and if it was, it would be a real turnoff. lol.