I'm sure I don't need to explain to anyone here how queer the things we do really are. Since starting to cross dress I've noticed, within myself a shift more towards the queer. I may soon be over come with this feeling but for now I'm clinging to that closet. And someday it feels like I'm clinging for my life. Like this thing could kill me if I let it out into the eyes of my peers.
On the other side of the coin, it's awfully stuffy in here. When I'm out of the house, I'm in man mode. Doing man things. It makes be feel hollow and fake. I don't like hiding myself. It was easier with weed in my life but I won't go there. I've thought about telling someone about all of this but I don't feel comfortable having a coming out conversation until I know what this is.
So enter the point of this post; do I come out as x with the option open to switch to y or z as I need? Do I sit here suffocating in every facet of my life until I lose myself?
I want to start wearing makeup in public on days like today but I could out myself as something in the process that I'm not 100% sure that I am. Gender norms are messing with me. Or maybe I'm over thinking it and gender norms are all just in my head.
Tldr; I'm having an identity crisis and societal pressure is telling me to act in a way that I feel the need to deviate from. Can't come out, can't stand the closet. Advice?