Camille, I feel your pain. It must be difficult for our wives. I get frustrated with mine that she has strict limits on me, so I do things without her knowledge. I guess that's a part of the DADT relationship.
Women tend to be accomodating, and wanting to give their husbands some latitude, let them do things they don't agree with o4 even find abhorrent just to keep their husbands happy. I have known a few who despise hunting, yet have furry heads hanging in their homes.
In our case, it's crossdressing. While our wives allow some behavior, they also want to protect us and them from societal embarrassment. Women are much more sensitive to societal perceptions than men are, generally. Hence, once we entire into an area outside of extreme privacy, we are not only affecting ourselves, but their status and respect from others is tied to us.
So, it could be that your wife is genuinely overly concerned for your safety, but also concerned about her own place in society.
Women like to be proud of who their husbands are. A crossdresser is not on the list of things to be proud of.
I don't have any help for you, other than to empathize and listen. Too bad we're not passionate about some other hobby that would make them proud, but we are who we are.
