Have any of you ever heard the terms "paruresis" or "parcopresis"? They refer to the psychological inability to perform the normal body functions of urination and bowel movements. These phobias are very real in many people and cover a wide range of triggers. Sometimes a person may be completely unaware of this problem, until confronted by their particular circumstances. Such phobias may not be so severe that they prevent a person from performing, but they non the less can make things extremely discomforting for them.

All I and several others here are emphasizing is that we should be considerate of the feelings of others, regardless of how silly or unrealistic we may think their concerns are, and understand that in a culture where sexual segregation of washrooms has been the norm for many generations, it can be presumptuous of us to expect complete acceptance of a man in a lady's room, regardless of how he is dressed. For many people, public washrooms are a very unnerving place. We, of all people, should be sensitive to the needs of others because we expect them to be sensitive to our needs. Nobody is saying we are a real threat to women or are a bunch of perverts wanting to spy on their personal moments. Phobias do exist, and the very definition of them includes irrational. Unexpected confrontation is not a way to overcome them. Many require psychological counseling in order for a person to carry on. Others may remain unknown by the individual until that moment when they are confronted by their fear.

Let's show concern for others feelings, and emphasize what we can do to avoid such confrontational situations rather than expecting others to alter their ways. After all, we are the ones who are behaving contrary to society's normal expectations. I liked Reine's reply because it shows that her SO displays concern for others and takes responsibility to tend to his own needs with as little disruption to others as possible.

Veronica