My boyfriend won't tell me the truth

[Mayo]

As has been stated, the assumption that CD = gay is just a stereotype and more likely to be false than true. Unless you know he's talking to other guys then you don't have any idea at this point if he's bi or gay. Who his intended audience for those dressed photos might be is at the moment unclear (though I have difficulty believing that it's other women). Frankly, he may not really know himself but ultimately people need to figure these things out for themselves. I understand where your comfort level is about non-hetero sexuality, but it does complicate matters a bit in terms of unconditional acceptance: you're in the position where you have to say that you love him and accept him if he's a crossdresser but you won't be able to handle it if he's not absolutely straight.

Ultimately, for a relationship to survive and thrive, people need to be comfortable with who they are themselves (which he definitely is not) and with who their spouses/SOs are, otherwise there will be conflicts. These things need to be gotten out in the open for your relationship to succeed, but at the same time you (both) have to realize that doing so might bring up things that could cause the relationship to crash. You just have to read these forums to know how much anguish some of the people here have gone through. The fear of loss is a scary thing that keeps people hanging on, not being open, and ultimately making choices that in the end are not the best ones for themselves or for the relationship. (I speak as someone who got married when I shouldn't have because I didn't have the guts to say no and be honest about my true feelings and then stayed in an abusive relationship for a decade because I didn't have the guts to say no and leave.) In the end, if the two of you turn out not to be compatible, isn't it better to know sooner than later? Please note that I'm not saying that you two aren't going to stay together - I'm just saying that you need to recognize that the possibility exists and work together to make the relationship survive if it can.

It seems that he needs individual counselling for his gender issues - whatever they may be - and the two of you could use some couples counselling as to how to deal with whatever comes up (including his inability to be open and honest with you) in the most constructive way possible for you both. I hope it works out for you both in the end.