Alone?

[AprilMayy<3]

Recently, I've been feeling very alone concerning dressing.

So, all the people I would take to about it, who seemed comfortable talking to me about it, have just stopped talking to me all together. They could be busy, but it's been over a couple of weeks. It could be dressing, or other reasons. They just don't seem to want to talk to me.

I've come to a thought. Maybe I've hit the point where my dressing isn't JUST wearing girl clothes. It's forming a different personality by having makeup, forms(SOON!), wigs etc etc. Now, is this point a point where I can only talk to people about dressing who CD?
I've made the analogy, that I only talk about cars to my friends who like cars, so why should I talk about CD'ing to friends who don't CD?

I just feel lonely not being able to express my CD side as much as I'd like. I feel alone with it

[Demi88]

I don't know what to say. I thought dressing would be popular and accepted in CA. I know it can be lonely on other states.

[Tracii G]

Maybe they are tired of talking about your CDing?
I have a friend that drives me nuts when all he talks about is his cell phone and all the cool things it does.
He HAS to tell me the new apps he got and says I need a new phone like his.
I politely say I don't need all that stuff on my phone all I do with it is make phone calls.
The thing is don't dwell on one subject.
Same thing as when people have their fist baby its all they talk about.People just get tired of hearing how cute or special your baby is.

So look deep at yourself first.

[windycissy]

Why not reach out to other crossdressers down there? I'll bet there are plenty of cool support groups. If you're ever up in Sacramento, the River City Gems is a wonderful group. You can keep your old friends and make some new ones who appreciate and understand this aspect of your life.

[Anne K]

Well stated, Tracii. Perhaps April Mayy should try and develop relationships on this Forum and try and relate with her other friends on things they can relate too. Those friends will not have the wisdom and experience that girls like you do. That is the value of our community.

[Robin414]

I agree with Tracii, I can talk about pretty much anything to a point but if I'm personally not into the subject and that's all the person (even a feiend) talks about I tend to avoid the person...and have (do).

[Anne K]

I have another thought, April Mayy. You appear to be much younger than I am, so you do not have years of working through the ins-and-outs of CD. Over the years, I have progressed from simply wearing to that different personality you talk about. Well, I won't call it a "different" personality; I'll call it an augmented personality. Years ago, we didn't have all the options that we have today. Clothes, shoes, wigs, etc. simply didn't exist or were very difficult to acquire. Today, it's just a click away, not to mention the much more accepting attitude by many outside our community. Today, the freedom to be who you really am is wonderful, but still a bit scary. You are at a wonderful stage in life and will be able to grow and evolve. I wish I would have had those options years ago. Yes, I am jealous! So, let your friends live in their world, try and relate politely, and work on relationships with girls in our community. It's much more fun to talk than worry! Peace.

[MelanieAnne]

You can talk about it to other crossdressers. But it's not a good idea to talk about it with non crossdressers. They may be accepting, and they may not. But you don't know until it's out there. And once it's out there, you can't take it back. And most people don't want to hear it anyway. Would you sit and listen to someone discussing their sex life or other personal details of their lives? It makes people uncomfortable to hear someone discussing personal details.

So, all the people I would take to about it, who seemed comfortable talking to me about it, have just stopped talking to me all together.

People hide what they are thinking. If a dog likes you, it licks your hand. If it doesn't, it backs off and growls. People will smile at you and agree with you, and then put some distance between you and them, and you never know why. Many unenlightened people think crossdressing is a perversion. Studies show it isn't. But you can't change peoples perceptions. Maybe you could find a crossdressers club or bar in your area, where you could discuss this with like minded people. But discussing personal details of your life with casual aquaintances and relatives is not a good idea.

[Nikki Elle]

I agree with the poster above who encourage discussion with both groups: cd and non-cd. Everyone has unique insights and attitudes, even here. Perhaps I missed some background information - my first question is how long have your friends known about your dressing? Everyone has areas of interests, why don't you try engaging them about their interests (and avoid talking about dressing) and see how they respond. Finally do you feel alone in general or just with dressing?

[trishacd]

I think only people who dress can relate to us. They dont get excited when they see a pair of cute heels or a pretty dress for sale. I have never told any of my friends i dress.I feel like you that dressing can be a lonely world. It would be nice to be able to not have to worry about what reprocutions it may have if the wrong people found out.I always feel its a treat to be able to talk with people who actually encourage and help girls like us.

[Katey888]

You're not alone here April....

A lot depends on the nature of your friends as well as what the dressing means to you. I'd have to say that good friends (meaningful people who appreciate you as a person rather than just casual friends you hang with) would be prepared to both tolerate and want to understand more about you - but that is from the perspective of someone who already does understand... I think Melanie is probably right in that this condition is a stretch for most muggles to comprehend and want to understand. And it probably does help determine who is a good friend and who is not prepared to deal with 'tough stuff' in a casual friendship...

Don't despair! All too many of us suffer from this need to share... Find a support group or a social scene. Get out and meet others like you (us) who do understand and are prepared to reach out a little more... Maybe just stick to safe subjects for a while with your other friends - two weeks is not a long time - some of them may still be working out what your situation means to them and may have questions in their own time, but in the meantime, just do regular stuff with them if you can.

If you find that you're thinking this might be more than just a part-time expression of your femme side, perhaps a support group would be a good idea if you needed to discuss in more depth with those that have experienced similar feelings... so find out and make contact, or talk here some more... you know the community is here for you...

Katey x