Hi again tammy, I agree with so much that people said and I find I am getting a little confused with how I would deal with things. Thinking more about my first post and rereading your post many time has helped me see that I agree with you. I am with my wife 10 years and I only came out to her a few days ago but I never hid it from her, when I came out to my wife she explained that she knew, I made sure she knew from the second we met, when we met I was very open but I also told her about all of me but in such a way that I was being honest but just didn't come out untill I felt ready. Yourself and john have a very different story to ours and he is not ready.

To answer your fears about getting traced or tracked, it would be very hard for the avarage person but you don't need to worry one little bit about that. We are not like that, we all care for you both and are only here to help, we can all relate to your story in some way and sure why would anyone want too, their is nothing to gain from doing something so heartless and disrespectful. We are warm caring people who came here to learn, make friends and to support each other as best we can . The team who run this site do so in such a pro way that if a fool like that got into the site they would not last long. We are very safe and protected here by the team but also we look out for eachother.
I hope this helps you feel better.

I don't want to be a woman I am very happy with being a man, I truly don't fully understand why I dress well I didn't until I came out to my wife and myself at the same time and joined this site. Now I fully embrace who I am and see myself as not that troll I say anthony as but I can see what my wife sees. A strong man who is handsome and her knight in shining armor but as a women I am softer but sexy and still her knight just in shining leather .

As for the dating site I too joined a dating site but before I met my wife, just before. I joined a russian bride site but not for a bride or even for a date. Because I felt so ugly on the outside i lost all my confidence so I joined to help me feel attractive and to get my confidance back. It worked perfectly and if I didn't join that site I would have never made a move on my wife. John might have been doing the same or might have been just trying to feel like he fit in and was accepted.

How you move forward I don't know but to echo what many others have said, a relationship built on lies is doomed to fail and his honesty will free you both from a whole lot of pain but it will take time, baby steps.
I agree at this stage in time he simply does not deserve you and if he is not honest he never will deserve you.

I am not a church person but I pray you both work this out it the least painfull way.

I have so much respect for you and I wish I could just hug you both and take this pain away.

Anton jon.