Have you been with a guy?

[fionna]

Hi,
I am thinking about being with a guy when dressed up fully but only in presence of a girl. I am a straight guy who likes dressing up but I have never ever ever thought about a guy before. Now slowly I am opening up to the idea of being with a guy and letting him drill me while a girl is present.

I really want to do it but I am wondering if I am going to regret it later. My questions are
1. Has anyone done it before?
2. Did you feel guilty later about it?
3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy?
4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy?
Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel?

Before dressing up, I used to see shapes as masculine and feminine. Like certain shoes are obviously feminine (slim).. you know what I am saying.. Now I dont have those thoughts any more since I started dressing up. I am wondering if being with a guy would make one gender fluid. I am thinking about it but I want to know other's physical, emotional experience before taking this step.

For me it's quite similar for most of previous replies.

1. I hadn't I would not mind with the right set of circumstances. However it will part of a experience, not a longer or a emotional engagement at all.
2. I would not, as I said, it's clear for me that is/could be a experience only.
3. Why should be?
4. Same as 3. Why should be?

We are what we are, I don't think a experience could change our behavior. Except is we talk about a repressed sexual orientation, that could potentially arise from this experience. So the difference will be that we just opened a can that was previously closed and allowing to see the real herself.

Cheers

[steph9]

Yes I have, I am more attracted to women, but when I am transformed, I am very much into being a girl for a man... It wasn't an overnight process to get me to accept myself this way, but I have found it rewarding now that I do.

[jenni_xx]

While I sympathize with anyone who is going this route, and this post is in no way judgmental.....

Never going to happen for me ever never ever.

You "sympathize"?

I find that incredibly insulting. I don't need your sympathy because I'm gay, just as much as you (or I) don't need anyone's sympathy for being cd

[Skirtgirl]

I have never been with a man and am a straight married man in real life. However as Lesley, a 51 year old full life secret crosddresser I find I am now curious about men in a sexual way, but only in giving oral sex while fully dressed. Dont ever think about usually, but whenI am Lesley it is a tangible desire. Probably will not act on this desire as I would not know how to mert an interested man.

[BillieAnneJean]

You "sympathize"?

I find that incredibly insulting. I don't need your sympathy because I'm gay, just as much as you (or I) don't need anyone's sympathy for being cd

jenni_xx
Please refer to these definitions of sympathize from Merriam Webster online dictionary:
": to feel sorry for someone who is in a bad situation : to feel sympathy for someone because you understand that person's problems"

": to feel or show support for or approval of something"

You will note that there is more than one meaning to the word sympathy. If you take the most insulting meaning to you then I can understand your reasoning. But if you consider the second meaning, that I am "show(ing) support for or approval of....." then perhaps you may find that my post was in fact supportive. Actually if you read any of my posts you will find that I am very supportive of anyone and everyone.

Perhaps you may, given your new knowledge of the meaning for sympathy, choose to reconsider.

I am providing the link in case you wish to do some research on the subject. You may find the site useful any time in the future to understand the meaning(s) in a post.

Additionally my post says:
"While I sympathize with anyone who is going this route, and this post is in no way judgmental....."

What this means is that While I "show support for or approval of " (credits again to Merriam Webster online)" anyone going this route , and this post is in no way judgmental..... "Emphasis added later)

Again perhaps with your new insight you may choose to reread my post.

Billie

[laura.lapinski]

Those snips from your post above hit the nail on the head for me. Well stated.

Anneliese and SandraInHose you can add me to having those same sentiments.

[Sky]

I must disagree with some posters here who feel that clothing doesn't change your sexual desires or thoughts. When I am dressed as a man, I think about being with women sexually. But, when I am dressed as a woman, I think about being with men sexually. So, at least in my case, the type of clothing I am wearing does influence my sexual thoughts and desires. Maybe I am in the minority here?

Minority maybe but not alone since that describes me too.

The thing with this kind of issue is, people tend to assign their own beliefs, preferences and experiences to everyone. In reality, some of us are attracted to men only when in drab, some only when in drag, some always, some never, and some only when wearing a gorilla costume (hey, don't judge!)

[Lorileah]

logic here. If it was only the clothes that made you want to be with a guy, as soon as you were naked wouldn't that go away?

[flatlander_48]

No, residual effect...

DeeAnn

[crobeson96]

No, but I've been intimate with a girlfriend while dressed. One afternoon we had a quiet moment that meant 'what do you want to do?' I asked her (couldn't believe the words came out of my mouth) "Do you have anything pretty I could wear?" She didn't miss a beat! She jumped to her dresser and pulled out a loose pair of tap pants and a matching top in green satin. "Here, put this on." She brushed my hair and added some barrettes and put some clip-on earrings on me and did some light makeup. I was very excited. She pulled her hair back so it looked short and put on a boy t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The rest, I'll leave to our collective imagination.
The power of our mutual response frightened both of us, I think, and though our relationship continued, we never repeated or discussed that scenario or crossdressing, for that matter. The relationship ended much later for other reasons.

[Lexi_83]

I have an off-and-on intimate relationship with a guy. He's special, haven't pursued a relationship with anyone else.

[Devin7]

1. Has anyone done it before? yes
2. Did you feel guilty later about it? did at first
3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? kinda
4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? no, but i dressed a lot more
Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? for me i find it more pleasureable than straight sex, but just like any kind of sex i have there are factors that make it more enjoyable, how attracted i am to them, the connection we have, how pretty i am feeling that day, and most of all i like taking it from behind and performing oral. I would suggest to atleast experiment with yourself first

[mechamoose]

One's sexuality is not the same as identity, but they are linked. On top of that, sexuality (that is, sexual interest) moves all around over the course of your life anyway.

Why over analyze? What is so bad about being curious, or even *gasp* gay?

I mean, you are still just a person who needs love and care. You still want mostly the same things from a person.

I guess I just fail to see what all the hubub is about. If I like a person I like *them*, I don't like them just for their bits. I will enjoy whatever they happen to have.

<3

- MM

[Sonny]

1. Has anyone done it before? Yes orally many times twice anally. I bottom
2. Did you feel guilty later about it? At first then it was like..."who the **** cares'
3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? Go through spurts
4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? No Been with guys way before I dressed
Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? Different. I like the submissive role cause I have to be Alpha all the other times.

I am Bi love making love to a woman and guys. I am 50:50 on the scale. When I dress I don't feel the urge though, which may be odd. I have not been with a guy dressed but when I do he will have to be better than the guys I've been with as a guy. Jus tfeel so lady like when dressed and raise the bar.

[Rosie1989]

I've never been with a guy but love the thought of it when dressed...

I don't think I could actually see myself dating a guy but having one night of fun could be nice!!

[Krisi]

This thread and ones like it are much of the reason I don't introduce my wife to this crossdressing forum. For most of us, the first question we get asked when we tell someone we enjoy wearing women's clothes is; "Are you gay?" For me, and I suspect for most crossdressers, the answer is "No, I am straight." That's what my wife asked me and that was my answer.

A person reading this forum might get other ideas if they came across threads like this one. I don't want my wife to think dressing will make me gay. It would not help my marriage. I don't think it would help anyone's marriage.

I'm not trying to say there is anything wrong with being gay, but you really should admit it to yourself if you are, not try to blame it on crossdressing.

[MarciManseau]

Krisi, it's more complicated than that. Someone who is "straight" may have fantasies, or be willing to try having sex with a male, but none of that would make you gay, just bi or bi curious. I'm sure your wife would be able to see that, or you could explain it to her.

[binair10]

I suppose if many on here was honest and when dressed said that they would like to be with a man....

I think that going out with a man to a show, cinema or a meal would appeal to many girls.

I would love to go out for a meal etc with one...but anything sexual...NO WAY.

Julie.

[AmandaM]

Well, I'm no closer to an answer after reading this entire thread. The only time I think of kissing a guy is when I see a beautiful girl kissing one and I want to be her (i want to be her no matter what she's doing). I never feel that way looking at two guys kissing. It's actually a turn-off. And the thought of a relationship with a guy with me as a man is also a turn-off. Looking into his eyes, no, ewww. But if I was a woman, yes, I could do that. I just can't separate in my head the female part of it. The male me is straight, the female me is bi (likes both).

[Crissy Kay]

To tell you all the truth, the older you get, it comes down to who you get lucky with!!

[Lilli]

1. Has anyone done it before?
Yes, I have. I had over some 2-3 years gradually worked myself up to it.Imagining it, wanting to be in the role etc. I had practiced a lot with a prosthetic phallus and I had gotten to knwo a guy over almost two years via a website. Then one day it just boiled over in me. I wanted to, so I said to myself, do it, find it out. I contacted him, he was immedeatly interested, we met the same evening near a highway restaurant. He was really nice, but I felt that all his compliments and tenderness were towards another perseon - maybe not me - I just wanted none of the flirting, I wanted to get to it: Seduce him, perform orally etc.
That is what we did. I seduced him as best i could with my behind on his front, then kneeling, opening it up and putting the raincoat on as I had imagined it to do. That part went well and as planned. He was very enthusiastic about my performance I felt not a little flattered.
Then the first disillusion: I couln't do in reality what I had done to my prothetic piece at home. My throat wouldn't allow it. i tried and re-tried. No go. So I couldn't do what I imagined. What then? I tried to do what I could but after 5 minutes os so I felt sore and thouroughly unenthusiastic about it. It was like work. I kept up the smiles and the banter, but it was really work.
Felt even stronger that i was pretending to be something rather than being something.
This led me to renounce this route. That said the fantasy is still with me and still gets me excited. But I know it didn't do anything for me there and then. Sometimes I think I should try again with a different mind set but then again i feel that it in't what I am however exciting the fantasy may be.

2. Did you feel guilty later about it? - Yes.Not morally but towards him for pretending, towards his girlfriend (I learned there and then that he had one who didn't like oral). I felt really guilty about making him cheat. Especially because it was just an experiment for me.

3. Did you get addicted to being with a guy? -not at all. The fantasy is still there and maybe that counts, but definitely no.

4. Did you decide to go fulltime after being with a guy? not at all

Most Importantly
5. Was it more pleasurable than straight sex? How did you feel? - I have had good and bad straight sex, but this wasn't the right thing for me. So it wasn't.

Cheers

[AmandaM]

Lilli, your answer to #1 is pretty much my experience in the one time I did it. I have the fantasy, maybe that's all it'll ever be for you and me.

[mechamoose]

I never feel that way looking at two guys kissing. It's actually a turn-off. And the thought of a relationship with a guy with me as a man is also a turn-off. Looking into his eyes, no, ewww. But if I was a woman, yes, I could do that. I just can't separate in my head the female part of it. The male me is straight, the female me is bi (likes both).

Maybe that is where I am different from most. I don't compartmentalize myself based on what 'mode' I'm in. I'd feel the same things in work boots and flannel as I would in a flowery skirt.

It is a role in a 'pair', and you have ideas as to what each is -supposed- to do, and you have a hard time traversing that wall.

This is a good discussion.

- MM

[Krisi]

Krisi, it's more complicated than that. Someone who is "straight" may have fantasies, or be willing to try having sex with a male, but none of that would make you gay, just bi or bi curious. I'm sure your wife would be able to see that, or you could explain it to her.

No, I could not explain to my wife that I wanted to have sex with a man. Or why some other supposedly straight male would want to have sex with a man simply because he strapped on a pair of boobs and a wig. He would still be a male having sex with another male. The strap on boobs and wig don't change anything. And if he was married or in a committed relationship, that would be cheating just the same as if he had sex with a woman.

It almost seems like you are saying that being bisexual is somehow less deviant than being gay. Like you are trying to defend it.

[Sky]

... and putting the raincoat on as I had imagined it to do.

That's so European!!!