How did CDer connect prior to the Internet

[Rosemary+]

Hello ladies
My first post in the main section, please forgive me if the question has been asked before.
As I'm still deeply in the closet .
1.how did CDers connect and make friendships prior to the Internet?
2. How did you find support networks?

Thanks you
Rosie

[kelliT]

I was in my twenties, worked up enough nerve to go to a meeting for crossdressers. I remember having a nice place to dress there, very little about what we talked about. From there, I met others which prompted me to go out to dinner and clubs with the group. Haven't been in a group environment in 20 years. Just me exploring with myself.

[GeorgeA]

My answer to both questions is: "did not".

Welcome to the forum, Rosemary+

[lisalove]

The only time I met another crossdresser prior to the internet was when a great CD put an ad in the local paper.
It was in the 80's. and I was trying to understand myself. I've never questioned why I was the way I was, I just wanted to understand it.
Anyways, I was browsing the want ads in the paper, and I read an ad from a CD, so I answered it. I told her exactly what I wanted. At that time I had no idea there were other intensions for why anyone would put an ad in the paper. Call it niativity if you want.
She did reply to my reply, and we set up a meet. She was quite a bit older than me I was only in my teens at the time. My guess she was in her 30's or older.

We talked for hours and I think I learned quite a bit about myself and why I was the way I was and still am.
It never went any more from just a great friendship. we went out on the town, she showed me the hot spots (safe). she showed me how to do make up and hair, mannerisums etc.
Besides all the gurl stuff, she had other interests, that I was also interested in.
That turned out far better than any on line meets that I've ever had to this day.

[Laurana]

The same way everything else was done before the internet. Word of mouth and actually interacting with peope face to face.

[Julogden]

My first contact with others was as pen pals in the mid-1970's. There were magazines published by a CD named Cathy Slavik from Seattle that had personal ads from people all over the country and other countries, and back then, snail mail was the only option for contact. She published a few different magazines back then.

There was also Tri Ess, a support group for straight CD's, and they published magazines too as well as holding meetings. I didn't attend a Tri Ess meeting until 1985, and I made quite a few friends there.

[Rosemary+]

Thanks for the answers
Ahh the old days where people had to actually get out of the house and interact!
It could be done you just had to be proactive and find others.
Rosie

Ps. Thanks for the welcome Salerba

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Rosemary, Before the internet and CD forms I was as lonely as the MAYTAG REPAIREMAN
.
The only thing that I had was the few books at the library and the XXX ADULT book stores. ~~......

[Adriana Moretti]

wait.....there was a time BEFORE the internet ????? .....kidding xoxo

[Vickie_CDTV]

Primarily they corresponded via the various magazines for dressers at the time, Transvestia, The Transvestite (Cathy Slavik's), Tri-Ess Femme Mirror, Tapestry, LadyLike, and many many others.

Some orgs also did outreach on TV back in the 1970s and 80s (Tri-Ess, IFGE, FPE and others), and gave people an address to write to etc.

[Phoebe Reece]

Back in the early 1970's when I first started contacting other crossdressers, I found out about an organization known as FPE through a magazine article. FPE was Virginia Prince's organization, which years later merged with another organization to create Tri-Ess. I joined FPE sometime around 1974 and was sent a membership directory. The directory was really just a member's name, membership number, some minimal info about the member, and the city that person lived in. If you wanted to contact someone, you wrote a letter and put your letter in a stamped envelope with the membership number of the person you were trying to contact written in pencil on the front. You then put that envelope in another stamped envelope addressed to FPE and put it in the mail. If you were lucky, you would get a reply in between two and four weeks. Even though it was slow, I did develop a fair number of contacts, and was able to eventually meet many of them in person.

[CarlaWestin]

My only contact with another CD'er, pre internet, happened quite by chance. I was fully dressed very late one night after quietly sneaking out of the house for a moonlight stroll. Big boobs, tight dress, heels and wig I was in heaven. One of my games back then was to drive a mile or so away and lock the keys in the car. Then I would have to walk back home to get the key stashed outside of the house and walk back to get the car. All in full glorious CD dress. As I was walking down the sidewalk one night I saw what appeared to be a tall slender woman wearing a very wide brim hat and seemingly hobbled by her tight ankle length dress. It was another CD. S(he) had safety pinned her dress hobbling tight and could only take short steps in her high heels. I approached and let her see that I was playing dress up myself but, she was really frightened by my presence. So, I just told her to be safe and left her alone. I had a few other encounters but the internet really opened my eyes to a larger community than I had previously imagined.

Hmm? I haven't done that lock the keys in the car thing in a while. Maybe this weekend I could..........

[I Am Paula]

Every major city had a fetish weekly. In Toronto there was TAB magazine, in New York there was Screw, and miriad others. In the old days CD's really only wanted to communicate to hook up. It was all very hush hush.

[Allison_CD]

"in New York there was Screw" Ha I remember that I was in my 20's and a visitor to your fine city.
Screw opened my eyes (but not my legs) to endless possibilities.
Meetings often took place in and around Public Lavvys, I'm told.

[adrienner99]

There were crossdressing magazines back then, and "alternative" newspapers where people ran personal ads...snail male or phone was how you responded. It was long and tedious...photos were worse--before digital, you took your film to a drugstore or photo processor and waited a few days to get them back....all the time time wondering who was snickering at your image...

[michelleddg]

It was rough. I would comb the Readers Digest Guide to Periodical Literature. I would comb the card catalog at university. I found a small ad for Lee's Mardi Gras Boutique in Manhattan in the back of the local newspaper when I moved to New Jersey after finishing school. That really opened the flood gates. Hugs, Michelle

[VeronicaMoonlit]

There were books that mentioned the various support groups, and of course magazine articles which one could easily find the RGTPL. In the big cities, the support groups often advertised in the free weeklies. There was also TV, every once in a while you might see a Tri-Ess or Renaissance member on Phil Donahue or something.

There were also electronic networks before the Internet. I know there were CD's on the likes of Compuserve, the Source, and smaller BBS networks back in the 80's.

[CONSUELO]

In Berkeley in the 70's there was the good old Berkeley Barb with lots of classified ads. Most had a phone number and you could call and arrange to get together. Also there were many magazines devoted to cross dressing and those could be bought in adult bookstores which were packed with TV mags as well as gay and hetero stuff. Basically you had to get out of the house. In the late 60's and early 70's many cross dressers were able to ride the coat tails of the burgeoning gay movement and attend clubs or bath houses to meet others. It was a risky world and you had to be very careful.

We are so lucky to have the internet as it has opened up the cross dressing world and there is a lot of information out there. Good information about cross dressing etc. was much harder to find back in the Dark Ages.

[Rosemary+]

Thanks Ladies
The pre internet pioneers were very brave ladies indeed, paving the way for us to follow
Rosie

[Stephanie47]

The Internet has been a Godsend. As a youth growing up in the 1960's I was full of misconceptions. The prevailing point of view of cross dressers was 100% were gay, although the word gay was still associated with being happy. Homosexuals were known as "faggots, queers" and other not so pretty terms. Everyone hid. That was also male and female homosexuals. I really would not have a clue how anyone met anyone. I'm sure there were underground clubs and chance meetings. However, if you were a teenager you just hid. And with hidding, came confusion. The only information available about sexuality was the Kinsey Report and that was held behind the librarian's desk. How would a teen ever ask to see it, and, since I worked at a public library, the librarian would never give it to a teen.

There were support groups in the early 1980's but they were hard to find. I really cannot remember how I found the telephone number for one in Seattle, but, I did and I called one evening. It was not a pleasant experience. The person answering was not at all welcoming and terse and actually turned me off of trying to get out of the house. My wife gave me the OK to join a support group. Actually, she recommended I go it. I did not ask. So I missed the opportunity to meet others.

The computer has been a blessing. Any youth can now go on line and find a site such as this site. However, in as much as the computer is a blessing, it can also be a curse. Just scroll through cross dressing subjects and there is much that will turn off a wife or girlfriend and maybe even further confuse a young cross dresser.

I guess the short answer to your question is for the most part we suffered in silence.

[Lorileah]

magnus_hirschfeld_im_kreise.jpgYou went down a flight of stairs to a red door. You had to knock 3 times, then two more and a guy opened the little panel. You then said "Joyce sent me" and the door opened to a large room where people were dressed in all sorts of feminine clothing drinking champagne.

Honestly, you didn't meet many CDs then because you were the only one. Drag bars were common. Shops specializing in clothing were another source. But understand that prior to the 1980's "we" were breaking decency laws and were considered mentally unstable and if you met someone, they could very well be undercover cops. There were a lot less of "us" then because like today the majority never leave the house.

[Rachel32533]

It was different than today for sure!!! I would dress up and drive around until I got the nerve to walk in a gay bar alone!! Sometimes there were other gurls and you would have a great time, but sometimes you would have to get out of the place quick.Today things are much better, thank goodness..

[Susan Smith]

Before the internet I thought it was only me who liked to crossdress! Guess I know different now.

[susie evans]

I met Virginia Prince in 1975 at a collage lecture in CA and the rest is history

Susie

[Sometimes Steffi]

My answer to both questions is: "did not".

Absolutely. We did not.

Before the internet I thought it was only me who liked to crossdress! Guess I know different now.

Same thought here. But I did see a guy dressed as girl at a costume party my first Halloween in college.

About 10 year later, my wife and I went down to Castro Street in San Francisco and we saw a lot of guys dressed as girls. I just thought that they were gay, because crossdresser wasn't even in my vocabulary at that time.

I went to the "Girdles and More" 2004 conference in Boston, and that's when I saw my first real crossdresser. She almost passed. She was the first guy dressed as a girl who was not doing it as some kind of joke like Bob Hope. I also saw my first underdresser there, and even underdressed myself.