Thank you for the comments and your perspectives on this question. It seems I'm not the only one who has felt this, but some of you have a much better handle on it than I do.
I've been more than a little distracted by the duality of my nature and have been attempting to find a way to resolve that feeling that there is a she and a he residing here inside my head. It's frustrating for me to not only feel differently but be seen to respond differently depending on how I am presenting myself. So my goal has been to feel like I've actually integrated the various aspects of myself into a single personality. I'm not trying to blend everything into a single emotion or limit my responses, it's joyful to be complex and have a variety of choices in life. I'm trying to figure out why it seems necessary, and totally natural to limit/choose behaviors, attitudes, choices, responses etc. based on whether or not I'm wearing forms and a wig or not. I wonder if there is a threshold for that kind of complexity that seems to come before trouble, rather than produces the complexity that results in joy.
Or it could be I'm just overthinking the whole damn thing and I just need to slip into something comfortable and pour myself a drink.