Teresa its not fair of your wife to say its just boys being boys.Let her fix what they break next time.
Time to step in as the man and say ok kids this is how its going to be here in my home.
You will respect your grandparents and this home, no running around tearing things up.
I raised two daughters on my own and I know the feeling but you set the rules in your home don't let them dictate the rules to you.
You need to speak with your Son too and lay the law down. Be blunt and too the point and don't mince words.
Tell him his kids have no respect for your home and thats his fault.
