Quote Originally Posted by Megan G View Post
Gendermutt,

Transitioning should have a huge freeking scare factor, it is long, hard, brutal. It's not something for the faint of heart or for those that are not quite sure if they are TS or not. It's not something to fool around with or toy with.

Yes there have been many warnings on here, "don't transition unless you have too" is a common one and is to be taken very seriously. Like you said lots of people lose everything, some people lose nothing but most likely you will end up in the middle and face some loses.

I lost my career and am still trying to rebuild, I planned, plotted and talked it out with my therapist for over a year before I could no longer take living the dual life and had to toss that one final grenade. While my employer was very supportive and we still talk regularly since I ran the Canadian operations of the company we ran out of work and I was laid off. What I did not anticiate was having to interview for jobs. And let me tell you there is nothing more discouraging than being passed over time and time again for jobs that you could do with your eyes closed. I have even had a couple of places come right out and say they did not hire me becuase I am trans..

So long story short, transitioning is damn f'in hard. Only do it if you absolutely have too!!
Megan, thank you for addressing my post. I have "considered it" but the consideration, the thinking about it always led to the same spot for me. That transitioning seemed harder than staying as I am. Staying as I am isn't always easy, but I guess the way I am looking at it, so long as it is livable for me, it is the better option to stay put.

I draw a weird parallel to my 1st marriage, which ended but not due to gender related issues. (I was in such deep denial and not CDing). It was never a good marriage. But, I took my vows seriously. Slowly over time, it just kept getting worse and worse, until I had nothing left to give. Now I look back and think that it was all just a big waste of time for me. I spent years being miserable. My life toward the end seemed just one of survival to get through the day. Had I only accepted that it was a failed marriage and ended it years before I did, it would have saved me so much misery. I became a BETTER father after the divorce. I became a better person all around. On the other hand, and I think this is true of my current wife, who was in a somewhat similar situation with her 1st marriage, it isn't the misery factor which prompts a change, you have to be ready to make that change. I guess I wasn't ready. My current wife tried once to end her marriage but wasn't ready to. Even though when she ended the ending, she wasn't going back to her ex out of love or happiness. She just couldn't handle the ending of the marriage at that time. He tortured her both times, the 1st, she couldn't handle. The second time, she was ready for his torture, and survived it.

There are some who are TS and either have or are transitioning that were in a similar place as I am I would imagine, but there are others who stay at this in between place forever. I am not predicting an outcome. I am just living life where currently it is in the better place for me to be. I could very well be where I need to be gender wise. But, for those who are TS and transition, when the time is right it works out right. But just about all say they eventually realize TS is not something you become, it is something you always are, or were. Years of suffering and misery would have been avoided IF ONLY they were ready to pull the pin.