I always told my GFs, from the point of view of a guy who was interested in them and attracted to them, and generally it was accepted [in those days, wearing panties and a babydoll nightgown] since it is kind of understood for what it was, a way to participate in the sensualness of lace and nylon. Some girls were totally relaxed, since they saw women's clothing as costume anyway. Some were a bit annoyed, but it didn't change much about lovemaking, and gave them a few minutes of an interesting experience. I think the difficult times for women are when it becomes either public or more like trying to be a woman. Both of those undermined their safety and identity.
You mention wishing for safe sexual encounters with men or TG, and so you may give off confused signals at a deeper level to girls - so that they feel your interest in crossdressing includes roleplaying fantasy, rather than just a kind of gender sensitivity, and so you are not fully present with them or committed for the long term.
Bottom line is that most people are looking for sincere relationship, and sexuality is just part of it and not the most important part of it, so if they feel you and they are really connecting as people, a lot of things can be incorporated in about each other as you form the partnership. Being completely honest is critical, as it comes from trust and trustworthiness, and your partner has to feel and more central and important to you than your next new dress.
