Feminine instincts and interests -- do you have any?

[Patrica Gil]

"D" all of the above. Since the first time putting on heels it was clear, being feminine was mostly me. Currently I am the lady of the house and it works for both of us. Best part was when she told me it wasn't just my feminine side she enjoys. She loves the whole person, and that felt wonderful.
g

[Dana3]

Well, I guess I'm the odd ball? There's NOTHING domestic I can't do. Cook anything, recipe conversion, bake cakes and pies to include decorating. Wash, dry and fold clothes. Iron, press, starch, with creases. Make a bed with hospital folds, so tight you can bounce a quarter off of it! Shine shoes, whatever. Clean house that would pass a white glove inspection. Sew, mend and darn

Thing is? What I didn't learn �� from my paternal grandmother?

I learned/ was taught during my twenty years in the United States Marine Corps ��

[Kate Simmons]

The honest truth is that I'm just myself. I do cook some, clean some, entertain some but it's in a vein that resonates with who I am as a person. Gender leanings really don't come into it that much. I guess people like me as Kate, otherwise they wouldn't spend time enjoying my company. I have no expectations really but then again, neither do they. My one rule for friendship is just always be yourself as that "self" is the person I relate to and appreciate regardless of appearance at the time. We all have those qualities you speak of if we decide to develop them. In my world it's basically the people who are important. Not what they act like or what they do.

[Janine cd]

I cry at the most sensitive issues. I can't watch a ballet performance without wishing that it was me in that tutu.

[Hazel King]

If we had a dinner party I would do it all, lay the table cook the food, sort the flowers, and enjoyed it. The hard bit was My wife would be upstairs having a bath getting ready and come down looking a sexy
million dollars. me I would just have time to put a clean shirt on.

Hazel xx

[Eryn]

I chose an odd path. Part of my transition path was to involve myself in a new hobby, something my male self had not done. Rather than a stereotypical female hobby, I chose one where only 7% of the practitioners are female! Why? It interested me and provided me with many opportunities to grow.

[PaulaQ]

For instance, how many of us are good cooks?

I burn water. Yeah, it's that bad.

Do you like to entertain?

Yes, I like to entertain. I mostly like parties, rather than dinner parties.

Are you a homemaker?

Not really.

Do you enjoy decorating and are you good at it? Do you understand colors and textures and spaces? Do you enjoy that kind of shopping? Do you notice details about how others decorate? Is your taste more feminine or masculine or something in between? Do your rooms have flair and character?

I enjoy decorating. I don't know whether or not I'm good at it. My rooms definitely have character. My taste is neutral to vaguely masculine - no flowery prints for me. (To some degree, this is to keep my fiancé happy too.)

Are you conscientious about housekeeping? Does your home feel like an inviting, comforting sanctuary? Or do you tend to let things pile up?

No, I suck as a housekeeper. I'm too busy. Thinking of hiring a maid service...

Do you have any craft interests, sewing, gardening, etc?

No, I suck at all of that. In my defense, I deliberately avoided things like that and cooking (which I really wanted to learn as a child) because they were just too big of a giveaway. I haven't had time to learn them now. About the only "artistic" thing I do is write.

Quite a lot of the above traits really can apply to either men or women. For example, contrary to stereotypes, there are excellent straight guys who are decorators or hairdressers.

Are you a nurturer? Do you have a mother instinct? Do you like children? Does comforting and caring for, even pampering, come natural to you? Do you think a lot about the people you know, or are you more out of sight out of mind?

Yes, I am a nurturer. I have a mother instinct. I'm mom to a bunch of trans people here locally. I love kids. Yes, caring for others comes naturally to me. I think a lot about people I know. I check in on them. I go out looking for trans people in trouble, and try to get them into a better situation. I spend most of my time doing this type of thing.

Are you intuitive? Are you emotional?

Yes to both. I've always been intuitive. I'm highly emotional now since transition. I'm all about the feels.

Is feminine body maintenance and appearance an every day thing, or just a special occasion thing? On any given evening or weekend at home, do you wear something feminine, even if it's just casual? Do you keep your legs shaved, maybe makeup, hair well kempt, manicured, jewelry, do you smell good? If a love interest popped in, would he or she see a pleasingly fem person or not so much? If you wanted to go out could you be ready in minutes or would you have to spend all day prepping?

I'm very feminine in terms of presentation, although still down to earth. I generally do all the things you describe, although if I'm not going out, some days I skip makeup. (The time formerly allotted to that is now devoted to dilation.) If someone walks in, they see a woman because - I am one, not a "fem person". As for going out, on the low end, it's 20-30 minutes to do my makeup. If I'm really fussy, about an hour. I can do it faster - but it looks like I did it faster, and I'm picky. I get my hair done weekly. I get my nails done every couple of weeks.

Do you think people feel like they're interacting with a feminine person or a guy in a skirt? Are you good at putting people at ease, drawing them out, maybe innocently flirting a little to make people feel good about themselves?

Again with the "feminine person" stuff - no, people do not feel like they are interacting with a feminine person with me. They feel like they are interacting with a woman, or so I'm told. That's a good thing, since, again, I am one. Yes, I am very good at putting people at ease. I'm very calming. As for flirting, I have to watch that - sometimes I overdo it, and have to tone it down. I would note that putting people at ease and flirting is just as easily a masculine skill - the techniques used are a little different, but the skill is essentially the same.

In what other ways or interests do you feel like you are -- or are not -- typically feminine? Are you more of a guy most of the time and a special-occasion-only kind of gurl? Do your male interests outweigh, or even exclude, fem interests? I'd really like to know what's "normal" among us.

I'm a woman, not a "guy" or a "gurl". I watch more sports now than I ever did in my prior life, primarily because of my fiancé. I own a firearm, and enjoy shooting at targets, that's something I never did before transition either. I used to play video games, I don't do that anymore. I used to be involved in amateur astronomy, I also don't do that anymore. I don't especially enjoy shopping.

I think the main things about me that are more stereotypically masculine are:
1. I'm a leader. I could do this before, but I I'm better at it now. This is done mostly with charisma, rather than having an aggressive and forceful attitude - which is more feminine.
2. I am, as best I can tell, nearly completely lacking in fear now - at least regarding me personally. You may think you are brave - but you probably are not compared to me. I say this not as a boast - it's actually fairly dangerous, being the way I am. I worry a LOT about other people though.
3. I'm a top. I'm a BDSM domme. I can be submissive, but it's work for me.
4. I have a strong personality and I am not afraid to confront people. I try to be very polite about that, but you will know it if I'm not happy.
I don't view these things as actually being masculine traits - I certainly didn't exhibit many of them in my prior life. They have mostly developed since transition.

I think the main things that are more stereotypically feminine are:
1. I'm all about love. My life is dedicate to love. Not just sex - although that is certainly a part of it, but love. I love people. I'm a Meyers-Briggs ENFP - I puke rainbows.
2. I'm very interested in emotional healing and growth for both myself, and others - nurturing others.
3. I really am all about feelings and emotions too. I use my emotions to give me information about the world around me, as well as people I interact with.
4. I'm a girly-girl in terms of presentation - makeup, jewelry, clothing.

I really don't view most of the items you listed as either masculine or feminine. At one time, a lot of them were - but at that point in time, being a homemaker was almost the only choice women had, other than a few other careers. I also don't really think about masculinity or femininity that much. I just try to be me. There are some ways, some of them you list above, that I wish I was better at. I'd *love* to be an excellent cook and homemaker. I'd love to be a gardener. Unfortunately, those aren't my strengths.

[Mykaa]

Well Im emotional, I always have been, sometimes I hide it, lately I seem to cry more than I use to, for various reasons. Empathetic, probably yes. Ya I cook, I do agree I think Im a good person, to be honest Ive never been complete, I had a conflict inside of me, I can say today its not there anymore. Whoever I find is going to get a very interesting package lol. I can say today Im pretty happy most of the time, I dont carry anger around anymore, Yes I get upset, but I move on, Big Bonus. Im pretty sure my sign is a good representation of me, Im a Leo, not always proud of my faults, I do have them. Yes Im fluid.... I am me, My gurl is about to make a debut sometime in the future. I will make sure I have at least 1 picture, I dont think I couldnt share, 1 thing for sure I will be wearing a smile. Yes I love my kids. Happiness brings about many changes, as I said on FB recently I hit bottom back on Mar. 4 and Im still looking up!

[sometimes_miss]

Well, I guess I'm the odd ball? There's NOTHING domestic I can't do.

That probably applies to a lot of us. Perhaps the difference is in that being able to do it, and being able to tolerate HAVING to do it every single day are two different things. My house is clean and functional; decorative? Not by a long shot; if I wanted to make it look 'homey' I'd have to look in magazines and duplicate what I saw. The skills I don't have? Design, fashion and beauty specific. My outfits are all sets of stuff that came from a catalog page. I have little knowledge of what to do with hair other than to keep it clean and healthy; styling is beyond me, other than a pretty clip to keep it out of my face. Same with make up; I understand the basic concepts, but doing it is not something in my skill set.