Ashamed

[sometimes_miss]

I was wondering if it is normal for me to feel ashamed and guilty about my desire to dress and look and act like a female?

I wouldn't say it's normal, but it's relatively common. After all, we grow up being told that to be anything feminine at all, is the worst possible thing a boy can be. So it's pretty natural that we'll feel at least at little bad about it, having been brought up that way for so long. Even after 30+ years of understanding that none of this is my fault, there is still a little bit of feeling like it's something that I should be able to resist doing if only I were enough of a man to be strong enough mentally to force myself to ignore those desires.

It never goes away. Maybe the next generation will be better off, but I somehow think that there are still a whole lot of people in the world that will continue to treat boys terribly if they dare cross the gender lines.