I don't really feel there is anything to be ashamed at but I completely understand how you feel. Please remember you are not alone if you ever need someone to chat with please feel free to contact me or any of the lovely girls on this site.
I don't really feel there is anything to be ashamed at but I completely understand how you feel. Please remember you are not alone if you ever need someone to chat with please feel free to contact me or any of the lovely girls on this site.
Samantha,
Shame about being a transvestite is imposed on us. In some societies males who present as women are treated with respect. We have no need to feel shame and you should not feel ashamed of what you like to do and how you do it.
Remember how society used to try to make homosexuals "ashamed" but then they decided to have gay pride parades and they no longer feel ashamed but proud. If you can get involved in the transvestite community and mix with those who feel no shame whatsoever.
With me, it is mainly church Bible teachings.
Samantha - you definitely aren't alone. I daresay your sentiments have been shared by many across the board. I also don't consider it 'normal' - gratuitous shame shouldn't be normal at all - but it's a fairly common feeling nonetheless. Do feel free to open up here; there's always someone to hear you out here even where no one else will. Keep on exploring and asking - it's better than just wondering to yourself.
Like Alice, I face questions of faith quite often. I probably won't go into any further detail here, although it goes beyond explicitly worded rules prohibiting cross-dressing or governing sexuality.
I'm also fairly ashamed of being unsure of where I stand, and not exactly knowing what I am - much less who I am. As ideal as it may sound, I can never be fully sure, but I feel it's only in my best interests to find out for myself than to keep wondering. Ditto for my intentions (the colossal, overhanging 'WHY'), although I know there really isn't a definitive answer either.
Maybe find a more accepting church?Originally Posted by Alice Torn
My friend who is a CD, who just started coming out late this winter, has just this summer started performing as a drag queen! Believe it or not, she performed last night at a church in Edmonton, Alberta! An all ages drag show at a Unitarian church, with proceeds going to Camp fYrefly.
How progressive is that?
Camp fYrefly:
Camp fYrefly is Canada's only national leadership retreat for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans-identified, two-spirited, intersexed, queer, questioning, and allied youth.
Link to
All ages drag event
Last edited by BettyMorgan; 08-28-2016 at 10:21 AM.
They/Them
I love dressing as a woman.
:canada:
[QUOTE=BettyMorgan;3987889]Maybe find a more accepting church?
It's not that easy sometimes - I've been brought twice before my pastors at a former church and they threatened to out me to my wife if I kept on dressing up and was banned for months from my duties at that church. We've since moved from that city, and my wife still doesn't know, neither anyone else in the family.
In my younger years, as many of us if not most, I dressed in whatever I could find of my older sisters. I would then get a male satisfaction from it and then I'd feel ashamed. I've not felt ashamed, now, for many years. Shame seems to pass a bit with age,.
Even if it does, there's nothing wrong with that, either! We simply have to stop treating sex as if it's a bad thing. Our puritanical viewpoint on everything is still poisoning our society, and it has to stop.
Do what you want. Enjoy life. Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks is right or wrong. What you do with your own life is NONE of their business. You don't have to be 'out' to the world, but you have to be 'out' to yourself. Accept who and what you are, and have some fun every day. Sex is good. Sex is fun. Dressing up is good. Dressing up is fun. Eating great food is fun. Watching TV and movies is fun. Put it all together if you wish. Have a good time.
It's high time we stopped treating each other as if there's something wrong with those of us who really, really enjoy sex, of any kind,whether alone, with one other person, or even in a group. If anyone wants to 'amuse' themselves 10 times a day while dressed up in a chicken costume, I say go for it. Just be safe when you do it.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
yellow card: discussions of religions are not allowed
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
As many said before, you're not alone. I also feel ashamed sometimes. We do something that for most people is not "normal" even bad for some.
When I felt ashamed or guilty, I always remind to myself:
1) I am not hurting anyone,
2) Crossdressing is just too pleasant to quit.
Keep in mind that life is short. Enjoy it.
Boys who dress as girls have more fun.
Second that!
And I add one more thing:
3) It is in my life for so many years so it is part of me so I need to embrace it.
I think we all of struggled with this, i know i have. i would promise myself i wouldn't dress, i have thrown, buried, burnt my feminine stuff countless times. I did not chose to be a cross-dresser, i did it because it was me and now i know it will be that way forever. So i have accepted the fact that I'm very attracted to femininity, i enjoy it, I also am more feminine than masculine and i'm someone who loves to dress up in women's clothes. I have stopped seeing it as something wrong mostly because i know i cannot/will not stop. I have struggled with trying to label myself to belong to a tribe, a pack, (bi-sexual, crossdresser, submissive femboy, transvestite, bi curious, pansexual......) i don't care for it now. There are many like me and i don't necessarily need to find someone exactly like me to identify and relate. i relate to you Samantha, i hope you soon find acceptance within and overcome the shame and guilt darling.
As you can see us crossdressers have many ways of dealing with who we are. They range from unquie to exactly the same to every combination in between. The guilt lessens with time as it helps when one just admits they are who they are and they begin to truly enjoy the benefits of being a crossdresser. No matter what the definition is. Don't worry about going through cycles as most all of us do, as I for one have not crossdressed for four months and havn't even been online for that long. Why? Don't know and don't care. No matter how long I stay away I always come back to crossdressing. Right now now I am in full girl mode and still after all these years can't believe that I get to feel and look the way I look right now. I so love being a crossdresser. As crossdressers go you're normal and I wish you the best with being one of us girls.
Lady Pleasure
Welcome to the club.
Accept it and have fun.
FUN!
Stay safe.
I don't feel guilt or that there's anything wrong with me. I do feel shame in the sense that I am concerned how others might see me. I realize from this that what I fear is being judged for who I am, and possibly being put down or criticized. We're all affected to one degree or another by the social conditioning we've received over the course of our lives not to be different - and particularly not in a way that contravenes gender roles and expectations. It sucks.
Welcome to the club. Almost all of us feel the same way. Just have to accept yourself for who you are. Easier said then done, but its part of the process. I struggle myself with it every day.
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