... having now had the conversation several months ago ...Our normal man and wife relationship is no longer normal and although it's not talked about it's always there as something in the background. ...
AnnaMarie, two things: 1) it's not normal "now." It can become "normal." 2) It will never be normal if you do not discuss it. It's out there. Open the conversation for her. Allow her to express her fears, concerns, and misconceptions without anger or defense.
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.