I believe this is my 7,000th comment to a thread. I was waiting for an opportunity to say something profound, but, it seemed a little strange to just post "Hey, look at me. I've been here for 7,000 comments. But, I did not want to watch that little posting number just slip by making any old comment. Thank you, Judy for giving me the opportunity.

How did this all start? I do remember my first interests in women's clothing. I was probably still a "single digit" little boy in a household surrounded in life by manly men and boys. I had a father, a mother, a brother, four male cousins and their typical parents, many male friends. I was not dressed up by a sister or female cousins or an aunt. I was not punished for my numerous boyish transgressions. I played sports. I rolled around in the dirt with my little cars. So, what brought on this fascination with female attire?

My mother use to dry her nylon slips on a wash line in our apartment and on a drying rack in the sole bathroom. I found I loved the feel of the nylon. The fabric was like nothing I wore. I caressed the fabric. Finally I decided to put one on. I loved the feel. But, there was no sexual motivation involved. In fact when I was in kintergarden my teacher commented on my cowboy shirt calling it a blouse. I was upset. I thought she said I was wearing a girl's blouse. I set her straight that it was a cowboy shirt. Gene Autrey was a big deal back then.

My interest in women's clothing seemed to escalate when my male hormones started to click in. I started trying on all my mother's clothing and her makeup. I felt revulsion. I hated myself. I thought, as was the common thinking back then, I had to be a homosexual. It was really disturbing.

I've come to the conclusion I had no control over the desire to wear women's clothing. I've also come to realize the desire can be suppressed. Again, hormones seem to have some controlling influence. When I was in the army I had absolutely no interest in women's clothing. I was totally preoccupied with staying alive as an infantryman in Nam. I have a PTSD counselor who has expressed her opinion that each of us have some DNA of the opposite sex, and, it is expressed by varying degrees. With life experiences I have to agree with her.

Yes, when there is a need for me to seek relief or escape my past or the present it manifests itself in tapping into the female DNA within me. Yes, when it gets rough in the male world I escape to Stephanie. I've been able until recently to balance my male and female desires and needs. Yes, I am a much more tolerable and mellow person when I can be Stephanie.

Recently my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. So after being off work for a number of months due to back surgery breast cancer reared its ugly head. So, if I total all the months up it will be the longest period of time in the last four decades I will not be Stephanie. There is some angst, but, it seems to be controlled by the arise of the male protector in me. Hormones again? Protecting my life long partner? Probably yes.

So. I've been mellowing myself out by still buying female clothing. My PTSD counselor calls it "retail therapy." It is a coping mechanism. Yes, I'm the one with over 400 full slips. I added over 35 this year. And dresses, bras and panties. "Retail therapy" keeps me on a even keel.

Do I need to do this? You bet your ass! I know Judy's wife and my wife really do not understand the why anymore than I understand the why. So, is it better to seek relief from daily stress by drinking to excess or using illegal drugs? Or is it better to let that female DNA strands flourish on occasion?