The Wife Says She's Knows What I'm Up To!

[ReineD]

It's disturbing that some members in this thread gave advice about disabling the camera rather than meeting this relationship issue head on with the wife!

While I agree that both partners have an obligation to contribute to all the household chores, this is easily verifiable by the fact that the chores are done or not done at the end of the day. There is no need for a camera!

But chores aside, if your wife needs a camera to determine whether you dress or not, then this indicates that she does not trust you. And a marriage without trust is not a marriage. It is a business partnership.

You are an adult and not a child. If it is important for you to dress when your wife is not there, you need to say so. You mustn't lie to her. If you have lied in the past, for example indicated or somehow led her to understand that you wouldn't dress at all ... while intending to dress when her back was turned, then she is operating under the false assumption that you will not dress. And she wants to hold you to your word. But, if you tell her that you understand that she doesn't want to be involved and you are happy only dressing when she is gone, then she will not expect you to not dress when she is not there.

You need to be honest, Judy. There's no other way around it.

If you decide that your wife cannot tolerate you being dressed even when she is not there and if you also decide that a relationship with her is more important to you than the dressing, then you need to honor your word if you tell her that you will no longer dress. Or, go back to my other suggestion, tell her that you cannot make that promise to her because dressing is too important to you, and allow her time to come to terms with this even if she is angry about it and even if the time it takes is uncomfortable for you.

In the worst case scenario, if your wife threatens divorce unless you stop dressing entirely, you can repeat that you do NOT want a divorce, that you do NOT want to involve her with the crossdressing, that you do love her and want to continue to be her husband, and that if she wants a divorce then it will be up to her to take those steps against your wishes, but that you also do not want to go behind her back and lie and make promises that you do not intend on keeping, then so be it. Let her take the steps to divorce you because there is nothing you can do about that.

Either way, there is no need for any camera unless it is for both of you to monitor the home while you are gone, or while someone else is doing work inside the home while you and your wife are not there.


So ... having said all that, the fact remains that we've only just heard your side and not your wife's. Are there other things at play here. For example it sexual for you and does your wife feel as if an aspect of her relationship with you is suffering because of the CDing. Or, have you lied about other things too.

It's very difficult to make judgments about all the complexities in a relationship when a member just posts one or two facts.