Is there a difference between what motivates a crossdresser to dress and what motivates an alcoholic to drink?
Are crossdressers powerless over their dressing?
Are alcoholics powerless over alcohol?
Are both innate?
Is there a difference between what motivates a crossdresser to dress and what motivates an alcoholic to drink?
Are crossdressers powerless over their dressing?
Are alcoholics powerless over alcohol?
Are both innate?
Any statement here is probably a stroke with a massive brush. The narrative that dominates this side of the Internet seems to imply a degree of inevitability and innateness as regards whether one wears clothing of the opposite gender, with varying degrees of control over such things as frequency and extent. I don't think it's necessarily fair to compare the conduct of crossdressing (with its myriad motivations) to a physical dependency like alcohol though.
Is there a difference between what motivates eaters to eat and what motivates alcoholics to drink? Are eaters powerless over their eating? . . .
Just because two things share a lot of features doesn't mean they share a lot of other features
After I spend time now and then trying to figure out, was I born a cross-dresser or have I chosen to be a cross-dresser.
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Drinking, eating, alcoholics ( there is a difference in drinking and alcoholics ) are addicting. The over weight are addicted to eating, the alcoholic is addicted to dreinking. I have power over my cross dressing. Sometimes I'm in a social situation and very seldom have a drink of alcohol. My wife and I since turning older have control over the eating part. Now my point is sometime I feel like a mixed drink with my meal or a beer with my buddies. My eating even though I'm on a diet, when out with another couple we will eat a meal that's not on my diet. My cross dressing is fun, soothing to my temperament, and I enjoy dressing up. I've quit before but it has always came back. Sometimes years and years later. There is no connection I can see in my situation between CD, and alcohol. I nibble at all three from time to time. I can't see an inateness to the three.
There are many similarities.
Binging. Drinkers might only drink on weekends or at set times. Crossdressers might only dress at specific times.
Purging, Drinkers might throw away all their liquor while crossdressers might throw away their supplies.
Sobriety for the drinker. Not dressing for the crossdresser.
Relapse for the drinker based on the inability to stay sober or the inability to not dress by the crossdresser.
Broken families and or relationships. Drinking is the cause of many failed relationships. Does crossdressing cause relationship issues?
Medical research has discovered that we are born like this with varying degrees of femininity/masculinity within ourselves. I have a friend who is a retired(recently) doctor and he categorically states that we do not choose to be what we are but we are born the way we begin and develop into what we become from varying ages. Alcoholics become alcoholics they are not born alcoholic, alcoholism comes about through varying reasons for whatever caused the start of it.
Crossdressing is motivated by the way we developed in the womb and the reason why we dress therefore is because of an inherited want which evolves over a period of time and is not dictated by being told what to do or not to do but something inside us which makes us as we all are
Crossdressing is something that will never go away it is always there, for those that try to push away for whatever reason the desire/need will come back.
Only people that feel sorry for themselves feel as though they're powerless.
I'm not a victim of anything that I don't choose.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
Apples and oranges.
Karen
This is a question for the professionals in the field. Is cross dressing an addiction?
There is no motivation for an alcoholic to drink it is a need, the motivation is what starts the road to addiction. I know from what I speak, I am a recovering alcoholic and ironically my crossdressing was a part of why I drank(to deny and medicate against).Powerless no, I can if I so chose to, stop dressing as I have done in the past for many years, alcohol and drugs, lets not forget drugs change the brain chemistry and there is a need for them in order to function on a daily basis unlike CDing. We may have an urge to dress but can function very well if not dressed. Yes the "urge" to dress is there almost constantly but when I do dress I'm not starting an addiction again as would be the case if I took just one mouthful of any kind of alcohol. As far as motivation to dress(when not in androgyny my more natural every day mode) since I've accepted my CDing or in my case my fluidity, I'm a more rounded and stable person so that I guess is my motivation to express myself not to hide my self as with alcohol/drugs. Funny how if I'm drunk my behavior is acceptable(look he's drunk again leave him alone) but if I'm dressed it's, look at that a man dressed in woman's clothes he's disgusting, what's wrong with him, just to paraphrase some of what I've heard when out and about. Simple answers, yes, no and yes and no.
"you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.
Yes. Alcohol is a physical dependency. No one has ever died going cold turkey from cross dressing. Alcohol withdrawals can be quite fatal. Not even close to the same.
Billy I agree with u! At least in my case.
Compulsive behavior may all be related. And, I find my dressing to be a compulsion!
My family has never had issues with compulsive behavior. My mother, father, sister and I have had no issues with over eating or drinking or drugs, etc. I have never had a problem stopping doing something I felt was unhealthy or disruptive. That is, until I began dressing out of the blue in my 50's! I'm 70+ now and it has pretty well taken over my life. At the expense of my old friends, business, and time that should be spent organising my life, house, garages, and work environments.
I remain a closet dresser but even my social life revolves around my dressing now!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Not even close Billy.
It seems people play the victim card and say they are powerless but most of the time they choose not to stop their destructive behavior.
Excessive drink and drugs are a crutch IMO.
Yes I have been down both roads.
I read a long time ago a person who craves chocolate can easily become an alcoholic. It's not so much whether it is chocolate or alcohol. It's the underlying personality flaw which draws a person to become depend upon something to cope. I have friends who experienced the same combat trauma as I have experienced. In some cases my combat trauma experience was worse than theirs. Whatever they did or saw tipped them over to addiction to alcohol or drugs. It was a coping mechanism. A counselor I see for PTSD combat related issues has also indicates another mechanism for coping is "retail therapy" which is also doing something pleasurable to avoid whatever is bothering him or her.
I was a cross dresser long before I was a combat infantryman. I did not indulge in self destructive behavior....the drugs and alcohol. Looking back when the stresses of life mounted I sought solitude in wearing women's clothing. There was relief from the stress. I truly suspect cross dressing or rather my purchases of female clothing has developed into an addiction. Why? Can anybody really explain the necessity for a woman or a cross dresser to have 151 dresses in his or her wardrobe. I do. And, what about the over 450 slips? I must be certifiably nuts. It's retail therapy. The only thing I can say in my defense is I can afford what I buy. Thank the Lord! And, my addiction is not injurious to my health as alcohol, drugs or cigarettes are.
And, for the record, my PTSD counselor has not been told about this 'coping mechanism."
Alcoholism is a physical addiction that may or may not have a genetic component for a given individual. Crossdressing, at least in many cases, is an expression of one's innate identity. In the case of those who dress because they enjoy the way it feels or the like (with no gender dysphoria), perhaps that's more comparable to addiction, if they are somehow suffering negative ramifications in their life because of it. Those are my two cents.
[Edit] To Stephanie's point about the shopping addiction... My CD has hundreds of women's undergarments, though that supports a fetish that is related to but separate from his crossdressing in general. That part of it all does seem like an addiction to me.
Last edited by Gabriella111; 01-21-2017 at 11:38 AM.
"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” -- Jack Kerouac
Stephanie,
What do you thing would be your counselors recommendations for you if they did know? Is there any reason you have not told them?
I think it’s a mistake to compare the CDing to alcoholism. Alcoholism is a physical dependence. The CDing isn’t.
But, any behavior that is pleasurable and that is engaged in frequently has the propensity, in some people, to become a need. Not everyone who enjoys a good meal, a drink or other mind-altering substance, exercising, smoking cigarettes or cigars, shopping or acquiring things, gambling, sports or any other hobby, porn, sex, certain types of sex, etc, will reach a point where they establish dependence and the need to do these things is sharply felt. And in the case of alcohol or drugs, a physical dependence is established.
So what causes some people to become dependent on certain behaviors? Multiple factors, including environmental stressors, social pressures, individual personality characteristics, genetic vulnerability for dependence, and psychiatric problems. But which of these factors has the biggest influence in any one person cannot easily be determined.
Having said this, some people are indeed not the gender that matches their body and for them, transition is necessary in order to live a congruent life. Trouble is, Gender Dysphoria has become more palatable than recognizing a dependence on any behavior for people who are not TS, because the solution for Gender Dysphoria no longer involves stopping. And dependence on anything is still considered taboo in our society, even if the behaviors are not self-harmful, although a dependence on some things are not considered harmful and they are readily accepted (i.e. watching television, collecting things to the point of excess, internet or social media use, over-indulgence in sports or other hobbies, etc).
Last edited by ReineD; 01-21-2017 at 12:09 PM.
Reine
Couldn't have put it better myself!Originally Posted by CarlaWestin
Here today, gone tomorrow....
Nothing new here, but drinking can be stopped if one sets their mind to it. not sure cding can be stopped after one starts, other than periods of time.
Not everyone has the same motivation.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Gross mischaracterization. An honest to god alcoholic with physical dependency can DIE if they quit cold turkey.Nothing new here, but drinking can be stopped if one sets their mind to it. not sure cding can be stopped after one starts, other than periods of time.
I would say "yes" and this is the most spun question I have seen in a long time Once again I don't see the logic or connection here. Apples and unicorns
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
That's not entirely true. Almost any behavior can have a physical dependence component as this short video explains: https://youtu.be/ukFjH9odsXw . It doesn't mention crossdressing explicitly but it could apply to xdressing or even pathological stamp collecting.
The problem with this discussion is comparing one behavior in all its various forms to another behavior in only it's most extreme pathological form. Just like there are all kinds of crossdressers, there are all kinds of drinkers. Even if you only compare the most extreme compulsive forms of crossdressing to alcoholism, there is no equivalence to their destructive power. Nobody dies from crossdressing.
There is a huge difference biologically between stimulating the rewards centers and replacing a chemical in the body with an artificially introduced substance.
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