I dress purely to look as much like a GG as possible, there is no sexual element to it. In my youth I did get turned on by stockings , suspenders, lingerie (and swimsuits.....) but that was a long time ago.
I dress purely to look as much like a GG as possible, there is no sexual element to it. In my youth I did get turned on by stockings , suspenders, lingerie (and swimsuits.....) but that was a long time ago.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
This thread has been one of the most enlightening discussions I have had the pleasure to explore. I have always felt that those who have all the answers to politics, religion, or sex troubling...I have most of the questions but very few of the answers. Like many here, I am in my late sixties, retired from a seemingly "macho" profession, served in combat like many here...and am a guy. But I feel crossdressing to be calming. The fact that my SO supports my needs, is in itself a major life relief. I started out with lingerie strictly as a sexual release. Like many, after I had "time" to explore ...explore I did. I only graduated to total dress and make up a year ago. It has become less sexual and more enjoyable. My question is.... I crave to be submissive when dressed...why I'm still exploring. CDing for me has led to an interest my interest in being dominated...but I think deep down that was there before I dressed. I'd like to hear from others on this topic.
Hello Rosie, you might be surprised to know that my forum name 'transfeminate' is actually an old and now obsolete English word for a crossdresser
I think that we all dress for reasons particular to us. I just find it relaxing as well as sexually arousing the latter mainly because I get so few opportunities to dress and then it tends to be lingerie. With me I think it's an escape from being me to be someone different when I can dress fully. (I used to before I was married). Like a lot here I started with sister's panties etc. She used to threaten to dress me up in her clothes and rather than being afraid I was excited at the idea. One day alone in my teens I took that first step, realized how comfortable and light ladies' panties are and found myself relaxed. I became a crossdresser then
I no longer like the term 'transvestite' because I think it has in many peoples' mind the idea of an 'over the top drag queen' . So when I tried to talk things over with my wife about how I like to wear panties and wanted to get some tights she asked me was I a transvestite I said no for it's that idea she had in mind. I think to have said 'yes' would have seriously misled her and made things worse. A self justifying rationalization? Probably more truth in that than I would care to admit.
I find this forum helpful and accepting. It shows our humanity and what binds us together.
Last edited by CDJoyce; 02-27-2017 at 09:28 PM. Reason: errors
Not sure how to answer this basically I love feeling like the woman I can be and I enjoy the way I look. I use what it takes to look all that woman. I get turned on by the looks. How others look as well when people find out that this hot woman is a hot guy!!!
LOL. nice one. I thought that my interest in crossdressing was purely a sexual thing for most of my life, and so I hid it from everyone, including myself. But now I know that I love the clothes for what they look like, not just for a sexual reason, including being attraction to many women was because of their clothing, not just their looks, in fact, in spite of their physical appearances sometimes.Originally Posted by Ressie
I've always just been a cross-dresser. I get nothing sexual out of it, and I never have. It's just fun for me.
Two things crossed my mind as I read through the different posts in this thread...
1. Do we not like labels because of our fear of what they say about us? Example: "I'm not fat (a rather ugly term), I'm just a little overweight (much more palatable)."
2. Is dressing a turn-on but because we are presenting as the opposite sex? Through the years, I've read terms like, "He took me home and treated me like a woman," or "My SO likes it when I take the female role in our relations," etc.
Just thinking... I know... dangerous!
Lacy PJs
I think of crossdressing and transvestites as being the same thing, just the term changing over the years? Now I am hearing the term "gender fluid" and wonder if that means the same thing? Anyways, none of that really matters to me. As for my dressing, it is/ has always been a lustful turn on and do think that 50% of it is related to sex addiction, the other half I am still trying to figure out. It could be related to a desire to express a feminine side, or just a desire to be a new and improved me. I just know that when I am out in public, in addition to the lust, I feel another person inside of me coming out.
When I was young dressing was intensely sexual for me. Now at 61 dressing is something deeper - part of my identity. I prefer the term transgender.
That sounds like an old pickup line I used to use, except it's spelled wrong. I would tell women that I was "trysexual" They'd always ask, "what is trysexual?" I'd answer, "If it's with you, and it's sexual, I'll try it."
I just enjoy the feel of the clothes. does not get me into a sexual mood unless a woman GG is involed.
I don't get turned on in a sexual meaning, but I get some kind of pleasure and satisfaction when dressed. I just like wearing female clothes.
I am gender fluid and when my mind is feminine. I naturally started dressing. Th dressing isn't sexual, however I am a sexual creature and if the chance arises when en fmme. Yes it goes that way.
Part Time Girl
There are many terms and some are defined differently by different sources. Some are
Fetishistic transvestite - often used when there is sexual release from wearing women's clothes
autogynephilia - some here us AGP as abbreviation that others wonder what that is. It was coined by one person and was then twisted by that person into a different meaning. The root concept, IMHO, is that the man loves the idea of himself as a woman or being seen by others as a woman.
Femophilia - a newer term with concept that this is a man who loves femininity and enjoys expressing whatever aspect they consider feminine.
Transexual - concept of person who feels they are a woman but XY chromosomes
Transgender - much looser term that may cover many of the above
I like the last term better - so if you think nightgowns are very feminine, then wearing nightgowns is enough for you. If you think being pregnant is the ultimate I femininity, you may desire to look that way. And it is not the actual look, but how you see yourself. If large breasts or large butt is your favorite aspect, then that is what you try to recreate. It may not lead to sexual release, but just happiness.
I don't want to label anyone, but just go over range of concepts I have heard.
Hugs, Ellen
Closet,and others,
You may need to read up on more recent developments of AGP, it covers far more now than when Blanchard first introduced his theory . I felt it didn't relate to me until I was sent updated text concerning TGs with AGP and not TSs with AGP. It's not all sexually associated now in some cases but I admit it still drives me as it has from the age of 8-9 years, I haven't adopted it because I wanted a label, I believe my CDing is fully explained by it. The way my CDing started is a classic explanation, I know what is inside my head and the way I feel about CDing and what it does for me . I don't feel ashamed to admit it is what makes me tick, the fact that I accept it enables me to deal with it, despite not being TS there is an overwhelming feeling to be seen and accepted as a woman and wanting to transition enough to achieve it.
Sometimes I can't understand a forum with so many members saying they don't understand it and yet they appear to be afraid of seeing an explanation and accepting it as a plausible answer . We see so many threads getting bogged down in the argument between the transvestite and crossdressing label . We wear clothes of the opposite sex, the question is why and when we discover the answer we need to know how to deal with it. We owe that to ourselves and our partners , I for one really wanted to know why when they finally put me in a box I'd prefer to be wearing a lovely dress .
Last edited by Teresa; 03-07-2017 at 03:27 PM.
I feel the word transvestite does have alot of negative connotations and seems to be used as a demeaning word. but that being said it was a very sexual for me especially when i was dressing through puberty, but now i wouldn't say it's totally gone but now it's more about the thrill about what i see in the mirror and just enjoying temporarily having a break from being a man so to speak. i guess crossdresser fits more and it has way less of a negative connontations as transvestite which makes me think of some odd 50's information film..
I don't wish to quibble. And, if I'm off base would some expert please set me straight?"Love" is it. Ellen? NOT the AGP I'm so personally familiar with. :brolleyes:
My understanding is AGP is when a dressers is ATTRACTED to himself in his mirror or the idea of appearing to be a woman. "Attracted" as in sex! "Love" is a romantic concept which may or may not involve sex.
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
AGP seems a description of behavior and associated thought process. In my own case, for example, l crossed the line from underdressing to dressing completely over a period of several years, during which my wife traveled 5 days a week for work. I missed her like crazy, and although I seldom took this to sexual Climax, I may have compensated for loneliness by creating a substitute.
Perhaps the attraction of saying I was born this way may be in some way my excuse for using sexual fantasy as a coping mechanism. I know there is nothing inherently wrong with consuming porn, dressing for sexual fulfillment, coping with loneliness or dealing with stress. But in my prudish, self judging mind, I may have found the title of transgender preferable to sex addict. Sick, huh?
Last edited by kimdl93; 03-07-2017 at 10:01 PM.
Teresa, for a simple reason those theories have been trashed by a multitude of doctors and other experts. AGP was developed as a theory to match some behaviors not the other way around, naturally it will match some people. Merely dismissing such a complicated issues as transgender as a form of sexual deviation is way too simplistic for starters. I have read quite a few books on AGP as well as many others and to me its simply not plausible.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
Kim/Becky,
I have asked several times on the forum if the way other members CDing started the way mine did and so far none have, I've always said that that I didn't want to be unique and I'm sure I'm not, some appear to be reluctant to tell their full story. I related my story away from the forum with people that have extended the and refined the work Blanchard did , I have personally contacted these people and exchanged useful information and their own personal thoughts on my situation, I wouldn't dismiss them as talking trash. This is what I find frustrating about the forum, I believe I know what makes me tick, yet people will not accept it if they don't fully understand what is someone's mind , all I know is I can understand my own reasons to wanting to go further and possibly transition to some degree. I'm not brainwashed by it, I have seen the objections and understood them, I can see why some people were upset by aspects of it, those areas have been worked on but to some it's too late so they choose to condemn it and decry it for themselves and others.
No Kim I'm not a sex addict, but I do still have high T levels which have driven me from those early days , nothing I can do about that. Becky I know there is more to being TG than that .
Sherry has come nearer to the mark , AGP does not always associate with sexual needs but there is far more to it than just gazing in the mirror, it explains so many of my actions and why I have the gut feeling or need 24/7.
Last edited by Teresa; 03-08-2017 at 02:03 AM.
The question assumes there are different definitions for crossdresser and transvestite. I'm in the camp that thinks they mean the same thing. Latin-based vs. English-based, that's all. But I'll play along - as the OP defines the words I'm a TV.
But here's why I think some WANT different meanings. Generally, those who dress to express their feminine identity and deny any sexual aspect see their drive as purer, more legitimate, than those whose dressing sexually arouses them. So calling themselves crossdressers distances themselves from those sex-crazed transvestites. Worse, some prefer TG or trans, putting even more distance between themselves and for-sex dressers. Fine, if it makes you feel better....
Depending on which (of many) definitions of AGP I read, AGP does or doesn't apply to me. I used to think so, but not now, because most sources begin the description with "a mental disorder....". Yikes! I view my fetish-driven crossdressing as a characteristic, an attribute, a trait. It is a disorder when it disrupts normal life activities to the extent that treatment is indicated. I don't know if AGP applies to me, but if it does, I don't suffer from AGP, I enjoy it to the max. So there!
"I know in my journey it started out to be much more of a sexual gratification thing (transvestite), but as time passed it's become more of my female part expressing itself (cross-dresser). I can still get turned on pretty quickly if I'm dressed and the mood goes in that direction. It's kind of like the sexual arousal is just below the surface and at the slightest hint in that direction and things can happen quickly"
Ditto for me too! When I started (all those years ago!) I was just starting to going through puberty so naturally my hormones were absolutely all over the place. Now I should point out here that I've always had a strong female influence in my life so perhaps that had an influence. When I got into a dress for the first time, it felt wonderful.
Of course, with the onset of teenage hormones at the time, It was also quite sexually arousing so I couldn't wait to do it again.
From that point on, every time i got into a skirt or dress (usually with no underwear on! I have to admit!) it was primarily a sexually arousing experience for me; so much so that I ripped a few skirts in the process!
These days though, I don't find that as sexually arousing. I now tend to think that "real women don't do this kind of thing!" so its gradually lessened over time.
I should also point out that I have NEVER felt ashamed of my crossdressing (even though there were people who tried to make me feel ashamed at the time!)
Bottom line is: If it FEELS good, It IS GOOD!
Nicole,
CDing and AGP aren't mental disorders but they can lead a person to mental torment, GD has to be dealt with as it is a mental problem.
I admit I'm a TG with AGP, I know there is also GD problem , I also admit that twenty years ago I nearly ended my life through feeling unloved and rejected. Most of that was down to the need to satisfy aspects of AGP. My male side was being rejected and so was my female side, some TGs with AGP want to be accepted as a woman by having relationships with men, I need to be accepted as a woman by having relationships with women, to be totally part of their life but as a woman rather than a man , I've never had a problem with relationships with women as a man , that was question asked by my gender counsellor .
I've never felt I have a mental illness, the mental problems come from a lack of understanding and acceptance .
Teresa, when I first read about AGP I thought it sounded like the best explanation of the way I felt. I would love to read the latest stuff that you have read, so if you have a link feel free to send it to me since its been several years since I read about it. I will say it was kind of frightening to read it and have to admit to myself that much of it applied to me. At the same time, it was nice to see others who shared a lot of the same inner desires and motivations that I had, and that someone had actually taken a lot of time to study it and write about it. I am grateful for that, more than those folks who did the work will know. I can see why others may resist it. I don't bring it up much here because it seems to be a lightning rod issue for a lot of people. I am not critical of any reasons that anyone lists for why they CD. Life is hard enough without having to get into arguments about all this, and I know there are many valid, genuine reasons why all the CD on this site do what they do. I have no problem with any of it, as long as they are not hurting anyone or themselves.
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