Afraid to dress in public

[Periwinkle]

Going out of town really helps. I have a much easier time being out and about when I know for sure that no one who knows me is gonna see me.

[Ashley090]

Going out in different city will require to drive in girl's mode. That itself arise other things to overcome. Get in car if you don't have in front of your house, hope cops wont pull you over, learn some high heels driving skills. No matter what, you can still met ppl you know in different city. Personaly I would like to do walk in different city but I dont know them, I mean places where it is safe and what places to avoid there. In big stores there is way too much light

[Ressie]

I do some changing of clothes while parked somewhere, sometimes. Crossdressing isn't illegal in the US, so getting pulled over by the police shouldn't hold one back from driving while dressed. But I don't like driving with heels on. Changing shoes before getting out of the car isn't a problem.

Being seen by someone you know in another town is slightly possible but they won't recognize you unless you come face to face with them. Of course I'm assuming we're talking about being completely transformed (wig, makeup etc.) rather than going out with an androgynous look.

Some CDs also get a hotel room in another town so there's plenty of time and privacy to get dolled up.

[Diane Taylor]

Jess,
Most of us were afraid when we first started dressing in feminine clothing but the fear was for the most part unwarranted. Trust me when I say that 99% of the people won't even realize what you're wearing and the rest won't care. The best way to overcome this fear is wear your girl jeans whenever you go out in public. The more you do it, the less you'll feel self conscious about it. After you get over the fear of women's jeans you can add a female t shirt, tank top or shorts and even girl sneakers.

[JessicaB.]

Hey Jess,
If everybody you live with already know that you like to cd, then your "gates to girly life" are wide open realy! As Jane said 90% of our fears are just in our minds. As far I can say when I was outside in half mode (jeans, hoodie, littlebit feminine hanfbag) that none of my catastrophic scenarios didn hapend! No ppl running on street,screaming and pointing in my way like I have some deadly disease. Nor when I went out completly as girl then no SWAT teams with armored cars and helicopters waiting for me behind corners trying to arrest me or shoot me down (well if they were there then they were pretty sneaky :D ). So yeah no worries. Put on whatever you feel comfortable in and hit streets!
Also as it has been stated here many times, if you look confident then ppl even "try to avoid you" in term they mind they business twice bcs you ll look like that person you dont wanna mess with.
Also about going out in "half mode". Most of cd's so far don't wanna look like "guy in dress" yes, but there is nothing wrong with little bit feminine guy look. Also stepping outside as girl is harder then said, especialy when go full girl mode for first time. Again personal experience, I did try to do it this way but it did not work. Always ended in doorway frozen by my fear. Needed to build confidence little bit over time. Highly recomend practice makeup skills until point you feel that you can pass and not seeing guy with makeup in mirror but rather little bit boyish girl, it boost your confidence o lot.
Build your confidence piece by piece, small victories and break down walls of fear you build around you.

Okay! I'm sure I had the nervous look when I was out so I'll just remind myself to at least look confident. I could see myself getting frozen at the door too. I've been thinking I'll try that look, seems to be a good starting point. I will practice once I actually get makeup. That's another problem, I buy all my clothes online because that way I don't have the face to face interaction with people. You can't really do that with makeup. I've been trying to build my confidence up to buy something like mascara but every time I go to the isle I get nervous and just walk away.

Jess,

You wrote;" My thinking was if it is busy a lot of people there that means there will be more people looking at me. I was thinking about going to a different town, It's just a matter of finding something I want to do in that town."

Ask yourself this; if you've spent 30 minutes walking around a busy store shopping, if asked, how many people in there could you give an accurate description of? In truth you may have noticed one or two but most just don't register. For all the other folks in the store, you're one of the ones that didn't register.

What to do in another town? Go shopping. Just meander the mall. get used to simple being you getting out and about amongst the muggles. If you find something you like, ask too try it on and buy it if it suits. Stop and have a coffee and a bun. One thing I'd recommend is go find a store that'll give you makeup advice and find out what foundation, blusher, lippy etc suits your complexion. Word of warning; be prepared to part with your money. Even the basics can set you back a few $$$'s but it can save you in the long term as you won't waste money on stuff that doesn't suit you.

I'll keep that in mind next time i'm out. Eventually I'll go to MAC and do one of those one on one appointments so they can show me how to do that stuff and that way at least I can buy the right foundation and stuff then that looks good on me because your right I really don't want to waste money. But until then I'm going to try other things like mascara and other stuff that doesn't require an exact match. As for just walking around the mall I really don't like doing that even when I'm in drab because if I don't have a plan to buy or do something I kind of feel like I'm just wasting time walking around. And I would focus on what everyone around me is doing, staring, chuckling and whatnot.

Going out in different city will require to drive in girl's mode. That itself arise other things to overcome. Get in car if you don't have in front of your house, hope cops wont pull you over, learn some high heels driving skills. No matter what, you can still met ppl you know in different city. Personaly I would like to do walk in different city but I dont know them, I mean places where it is safe and what places to avoid there. In big stores there is way too much light

Now that's another thing too. Obviously I don't plan to get pulled over but getting in an accident is always possible! I would love to meet friends in another city, put the problem is not only am I not out to anyone outside my family, but I've never really had much of a group of friends, and the ones I did consider friends I stopped talking to for a whole lot of reasons. And there's only so much you can do with your mom until you start to feel like you should be doing stuff with people your own age. And yes I feel the same way with safe places in other cities, always a concern of mine. Thanks for being so helpful by the way!

Jess,
Most of us were afraid when we first started dressing in feminine clothing but the fear was for the most part unwarranted. Trust me when I say that 99% of the people won't even realize what you're wearing and the rest won't care. The best way to overcome this fear is wear your girl jeans whenever you go out in public. The more you do it, the less you'll feel self conscious about it. After you get over the fear of women's jeans you can add a female t shirt, tank top or shorts and even girl sneakers.

Unfortunately during the weekdays when I'm out in public I'm most likely in my work clothes because if I do anything it's usually on my way home from work. But any other time I can I will wear them!

[StephanieM]

I'm more scared to dress partially in public than to dress fully. Sunday night I had a bit of courage and went out to dinner with the wife with me fully dressed it was a blast and cashier said she liked my nail polish. On the other hand if I had been in drab I would have been mortified to be caught with nail polish on.

[Tracii G]

The more people there are the less you will be noticed that is what I have found to be true.
If something bad were to happen ( a jerk giving you a hard time) the more people to be witnesses to the event which is actually safer.
If you go somewhere where there are very few people others will surely notice you.

[Briana7]

I enjoy a nice drive while wearing heels and some leggings. I went through Dairy Queen and it felt pretty good. I think this whole thing requires baby steps. I took some initiative and told my best friend so I have someone who knows, but it's not out in the open yet. It's just that wonderful fantasy of shopping for women's clothing and being able to try stuff on that keeps driving me.

I bought a silicone bra at younkers recently and it was the only thing I purchased. The woman was a bit on the silent side, I just imagined myself wondering she might think beforehand, but then I realized I wanted it bad enough so I went through with it. Baby steps all the way.

[Scarlett398]

I'm with you, Miki...It's either fully getting my girl totally on as cute and sexy Scarlett or going in full guy mode. No in between with me either. I found out a few months ago that while dressed as Scarlett, no one could tell that I was not a girl. You can tell from all of the photos I have posted by now. Scarlett is definitely not a guy in girl's clothes while out in public. She's all girl and there's no doubt about that!

[Sandin Meknickers]

I think if i get the chance with the SO I'll be full on fabulous first time out ever and probs put the pictures on fb and still not have to come out. Had mates do as much and more on stag dos.

Not sure but in front of people you just have to rock up and wing it. Be quick and remember you get out what you put in.

[ClosetED]

Welcome to the Forum Jess!
I have driven pretty once and that was at night, since my wife is fearful of the neighbors finding out. I drove home in women's jeans, since she left them in my closet.
So you can wear the jeans out and if anyone ever calls you on it, you can say - what women's jeans? I didn't think they were women's jeans. They were in my closet and I just put them on. you can do that a few times to see if there is any reaction and having a prepared alibi may help with confidence. Then you can progress from there. Don't think you could pull that line with the bra however
Hugs, Elen