Let a forum sister help you go out

[Jenny22]

Under the earlier this AM post, "Up and Ready", I described how I was dressed to meet a sister for coffee.

I had another fine time. At an outside patio near a Starbucks, we chatted, shared photos took photos, and drank coffee just like any other ladies might on a Sunday morning. Coffee? I had to wee wee. I waited outside the women's rest room for it to become available, went in, did the deed, put the seat back down, washed, and touched up my lipstick. When I left, three other ladies were waiting to use it. I smiled and walked by them to meet Lauren outside.

We drove to an IHOP, but it was packed! So, we said our goodbyes. It was a fun time, and my confidence in ultimately going solo is increasing. To any of you wanting to be out among 'em, find a local sister who has the experience, and let her help you by showing and leading the way. You can do it.

[LaurenDeHart]

Sound advice! That's exactly what I have in-mind.

A Different Lauren

[Lauren Richards]

A delightful and relaxing time, indeed! Jenny, glad you were able to make it again.

The open and casual atmosphere of the plaza shared by several shops allows for conversation and the weekends, particularly Sunday, are much less crowded in this shopping area (""The Square" at Main and MacArthur in Irvine for those curious to find which Starbucks supplies the coffee and restrooms).

This morning before Jenny arrived as I was standing in line to order my Grande Soy Mocha (no whip), I had the opportunity to observe the Starbucks staff treat a severely disabled individual with grace and kindness. He appeared to be a regular, and I can understand why he would feel welcome and return to this place where he was just one of the folks having coffee. Kudos, Starbucks people.

"Weekend Coffee with Lauren" has started to become a regular thing, at least once a month lately. Plenty of open tables in the plaza...

Lauren

[TrishaTX]

We have a great group in DFW too , parties, nights ta Bars, clubs and some breakfast meetings. I agree , find a good group and attend events and enjoy yourself.

[Lana Mae]

I would love it but do not see it happening any time soon! Hugs Lana Mae

[Maria 60]

I believe I'm with you Lana Mae, but never say never who knows what twist and turns the road ahead has in store for us. I believe it would be a good idea to learn the ropes with someone who's been there and experienced. Thanks

[Teresa]

Maria,
I agree never say never ! I didn't think I would be going out socially but it's just over a year now and all thanks to meeting another member from the forum, once a month isn't enough but it does bring a different meaning to buying and wearing the clothes and choosing accessories .

Jenny ,
It's great it went well, it won't be long before you go solo .

[Suzie Petersen]

Good for you to get out there Jenny, and good for you Lauren for being a friend!

Lana Mae, and Maria too, why do you not think you could do that yourselves? Elaborate please, if you feel like it.

There are several very good reasons for meeting up with someone else for a coffee or something similar. Finding someone here on the forum is an easy way to pick someone you feel comfortable with since you can get a pretty good idea of who they are just by reading their posts over time.

Some of the good reasons are:

a) It gives you purpose!
It is a lot easier to get out the door if you know someone is expecting you to meet them. You will quickly feel less nervous when you are going somewhere specific rather than just wandering around. The absolutely worst thing to do, which we hear about too often here, is the stroll through the deserted city park at 2am with a few sittings on the park bench, usually in too riskey clothes and high heels. That is so dangerous and close to being "asking for it" and something no clear minded woman would ever do.

b) You will be less focused on others.
Most of the time you will be engaged in conversation with your friend instead of on others around you. It is like being in a small comfort bubble where others just dont matter that much.

c) Safety
Safety in numbers, as always.

d) People are less likely to approach you.
People rarely interrupt others who are having a conversation sharing a coffee. If you are sitting alone, they might. If someone do approach you, it is also a lot easier to ignore them if you can just turn your focus to you conversation with your friend.

e) It is great fun to meet others and make friends.

An other twist to this is to meet with someone and take turns being dressed as the guy. If you are out somewhere and it looks like you are a couple, other people will leave you alone. Just observe people out and about sometime. You will see that almost all men will have at least a quick glance at a single female, but not nearly as much at a female who is accompanied by a male.
It also makes it easier if you are concerned about talking to people because of your voice or whatever. The "guy" can take care of ordering, buying tickets or whatever it might be.

- Suzie

[Lana Mae]

Suzie, the few girls I know about in NC are either too far away or are not out yet! I have planned an outing to a MAC counter but am going solo! Money is another issue as I have to save up to do anything. I agree with all that you said but so far it is not working for me! I will take it as it comes! Hugs Lana Mae

[Suzie Petersen]

Lana Mae, Of course, there are many more girls close to you than you know of. The problem is to find them in a safe and comfortable way.

As for money, I understand that problem all too well. If that is a concern, a MAC makeover might be pushing it as they will expect to purchase some of their great but not so cheap products.

As for those you know of in NC, maybe they could come to you, or meet in the middle or something. A lot of girls I know are willing to go to great lengths to help someone else get out the first time.

Keep trying

- Suzie