Why go out?

[Helen_Highwater]

I was having thoughts about explaining to someone, even on this forum, why some of us choose to go out and about. It popped into my head it's a bit like playing tennis. You practice on a regular basis hitting balls served from a machine. Get good at it. Read the rules. Get all the most fashionable clothing. State of the art racquets and shoes. Spend money on building your own all weather indoor court....... and then have no-one to play against on the other side of the net.

While I'm not suggesting we go out as a way of competing, there is perhaps the desire to belong at least socially to the tennis club.

[deebra]

Expressing "who you want to be" in public and the enjoyment of doing it.

[Lana Mae]

I so want to join the tennis club! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[IleneD]

The most obvious (and often courageous) expression of Self, and showing the world that deep down beautiful spirit; the real You.
It's about individual liberty and seizing my right to just BE.

[DIANEF]

Hi Helen, I'm really not sure why I first went out. It was late, I had the evening to myself, I had the car and thought, can I? Once I had done that I just wanted more. I have been out since several times, but always somewhere very safe and so far no interacting with anyone. I probably do it more to prove to myself that I can, to push myself a little further each time and maybe one day reach the stage when I can go anywhere dressed without worrying about it.

[docrobbysherry]

I guess I'm the blind person playing CD tennis?

No matter how long and how much I practice, I still get my butt kicked most every time I go out in Muggle Land. And, that's NO FUN!

While staying at home and dressing in private? No competition, no rules, and no worries!

[Jean 103]

Really for the last year I've been living in muggle land as Jean. I'm moving to be closer to work again. The town's are thirty miles apart. I'm interviewing to rent a room. I'm gender-fluid so I'm in my work truck guy mode. I waited till we were face-to-face to tell him I was transgender. I mention the bar in the town where I'm living in that I like to go to and that it's karaoke night. He tells me his very good friend sings karaoke,then tells me her name. It's a bit of an unusual name I recognize it and say I know her she knows me. Well he calls her up right there. And tells her that he's with me and keeps referring to me and as male . He's saying I'm here with Jean he ,seems like a nice guy. I Can Tell She's confused because at the bar I'm always represented as a girl. well the interview went well and we set up a time to call and check in the next day. Well he talk to his friend again who said very nice things about me. I have built a whole Community around me.in just a couple of years.

[Princess Chantal]

To stop smashing breakables in the house with my hoop skirts!

[Allisa]

Interesting analogy, I liken it to that Shakespeare saying about being actors upon a stage, I need to be in the spotlight for my soliloquy if only for a brief moment upon that stage. WOW got deep there it must be getting late.

[Pat]

For me it was a progression toward truth. At first I totally suppressed this truth even from myself. Then I started dressing in private barely allowing myself to know this truth about me. Then as I got able to accept this truth about myself I had to go out and let that truth be seen. Truth is a slippery slope -- each time I went out I felt the truth more and could stand going back to the lie less. Over time I came out completely. Be careful.

[Sometimes Steffi]

When I was young and dressing in Mom's clothes, I thought that I was the only one in the world who did this.

I was over 50 when I first met another crossdresser FtF, and she was so intimidatingly passable that I was afraid to even talk to her.

Even though I met other crossdressers online, going out was the only way to meet them FtF. And it was the only way that I could prove to myself that I was (within the range of) normal.

Although there was this guy I knew who was joking once about how wearing pantihose would mat his leg hair down. How would he even know that if he'd never worn pantihose? I was afraid to ask, because I did have first hand knowledge that pantihose would mat your leg hair down. I didn't want to inadvertently out myself.

[Jaymees22]

Why be all dressed up with no place to go. I don't go out much, just enough to feel okay.

[IleneD]

I know I answered below; an answer off the top of my head.
I was sitting around the house (in a new long red dress), talking to the S.O. about "it" [the CD thing].
She finally got around to asking about details; and if I've ever gone out dressed as a woman. She knew the answer, of course.
I told her last summer about my bike trip adventure and going out to a restaurant. But she knew I did most of my dressing while she was gone from home on travel, and assumed I dressed at home. This was the first time in our DADT-style acceptance situation that she asked about me going out in public.
I'm not hiding anything about my CD Life, and frankly I've been wanting her to open the door to more detailed talk. I told her all about several excursions. Held nothing back.

After a while she asked the obvious question, "WHY?!" Why would I want to do that? What was the motivation? Showing off? Looking for trouble?

Despite my off the cuff reactive statement about enjoying the freedom to go about as Me, I didn't have a good answer as to WHY. Being free is good enough, but I don't have a reasonable idea of what might motivate a grown adult male to don a dress (and all the works) and put myself on public display (and be pleased and proud to do so).

I've had a lot to think about lately regarding my CD Life, my future of wanting to be a woman, dressing, where is this all going?.... etc.
Thank God I have a new dress (one that The Wife told me to buy today while we were out shopping. Beautiful red dress, clearance rack, irresistible price, and she said, "Get it".

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Helen,
I suppose I could invite the world over to my place,
but the parking is limited, and then where would everyone sit?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Scarlett398]

Hi Helen...Very good question to start a thread with!

As most of the girls on here know, my first time out was only about 3 months ago. My reason to go out as Scarlett was to prove to myself and others I could go out in public and not be seen as a guy wearing girl's clothes. Just be seen as a cute, sexy, hot girl who knew how to throw an outfit together and also knew how to properly apply my makeup tastefully to pass totally as a girl instead of a guy trying to be a girl. And that was the main reason. On my first time out, all of the above was confirmed.

I will only be able to go out about 3 or 4 times a year because that is how infrequently my wife travels out of town on business.

I was exciting and exhilarating and also very nerve raking right after I got out of the car out in the mall parking lot as Scarlett for the first time and that walk to the door entering by the food court. Very scary! If not for the girls who I met in the first store I walked into (Sephora), I would still be shaking in by booties!

Thanks for the question, Helen....XOXOXO Scarlett

[Sandin Meknickers]

Sun.
Natural beauty unfound in mirrors.
Mental health.

Why on earth stay in?

[Cheryl T]

For me it's not about showing off, or the "risk" of it all it's about just being me.
I love shopping, dining out, movies and all and why not do all these things as I feel most comfortable. We are social beings and as such crave contact with others even if we don't interact with them when we go out. Just being a part of society in public is so much better than being hermits. I fought so long just to get out of the closet, I'm not staying in the house and allowing it to be just a bigger closet.

[kelliT]

I was thinking about this a few days ago. I have to travel an hour to the city but it's well worth not knowing people , for me that is. I don't fully dress to pass any more and my new natural look, I would hope is just as good. There's something about being called ma am at the hardware store. Something freeing about taking my time in kohls shopping. Being seen and just being me.

[Stacy Darling]

Can't stay in!

May not be able to jump the net at present but I do have the goal!

[kimdl93]

What Cheryl T said. Its certainly not showing off for me...more like saying, I am real, and its OK

[Sarah Doepner]

For me it's not about showing off, or the "risk" of it all it's about just being me.
I love shopping, dining out, movies and all and why not do all these things as I feel most comfortable. We are social beings and as such crave contact with others even if we don't interact with them when we go out. Just being a part of society in public is so much better than being hermits. I fought so long just to get out of the closet, I'm not staying in the house and allowing it to be just a bigger closet.

Cheryl has her finger on a key point here; we are social creatures. There is only so much that self-validation and self-acceptance and self-approval can do for us. For me there was always that question about how much of this was a reflection of me rather than really an aspect of me. Being able to step out the door validated my gender identity as something in and of itself. It was proof of concept that I wasn't out for the thrill (although it was thrilling), I wasn't out to show off and I wasn't attempting to prove anything to anyone but myself.

Waiting with my hand on the door knob, wondering if I could actually leave the room and feeling excited about being exposed to other people is pretty much in the past now. That I am comfortable when i go out now tells me I'm out because I enjoy experiencing the world from a definitely non-male perspective. It gives me the opportunity to satisfy that need for some level of social contact and it feels good to do so as Sarah.

[carhill2mn]

Why go out? I suspect that there are many reasons and vary by person.

I have been out in public en femme thousands of times over the years. At first it was an exciting challenge. Then, as I got better at my presentation, it became more of a pleasure. I found that I really liked being treated as a woman, acting like a lady and interacting with other people. These are in addition to the pleasure that I experience as a result of wearing pretty clothes, jewelry, makeup and having hair! Now, when I am contemplating going somewhere, my first thought is"Can I go en femme?".

[Amelie]

To get food.

[SHINY-J]

I think it's just impossible to ever explain "why" about ANY of the aspects of crossdressing... it's almost indescribable and the levels, experiences, and feelings are so varied and different for everyone who does it!

However, it's pretty much inevitable that others that you share your cd'ing with want to know and have TONS of questions... as much as I hated trying to describe it and explain to the select few women that I have, my answers and explanations never really satisfied them... and even though I've dealt with my desire to dress every day for most of my life, eve I can't explain it and wish I could have an answer as to why "I have this desire and urge to dress and nobody else does".., I know there are obviously others who dress in the world, but it seems like all of the guys I know and/or know of, don't...


As afar as going out in public for me... it's more of a "thrill" or a "challenge" for myself.. even though I only go out alone... very late at night... in deserted places... it's still me out there completely exposed and vulnerable... for lack of a better description... I keep it so deep inside and fiercely hide it from the outside world, that when I go out, even if it's in the middle of a deserted parking lot in the middle of nowhere with nobody for miles around, it still feels like I'm releasing all of that pent up emotion and stress about keeping it secret from the outside world.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I have another answer why I go out. Because I can't dress at home.

Wife doesn't want to see me dressed.

My daughter moved back a couple of years ago and is living in the basement.

There's really no time that I can dress at home safely, especially if I want to do makeup.