Trans envy?

[drEdge]

DrEdge,
The quote does ring true .
Finding yourself no matter where you feel you are on the TG road is an amazing thing, to some we will never be fixed but that doesn't matter if we feel no shame and guilt and are totally comfortable with being dressed.

Most of us are straight but again does that really matter, if you don't have a problem with your sexuality why worry what others think. No matter how I dress I still prefer the girls .

At least I get to go out socially now and enjoy being dressed as Teresa , most of the public I've met don't have a problem with that.

Interesting, you're right. I shouldn't worry what others think.. But I do worry what others think... Although it's not the public I'm too concerned about, it's my gf, friends and family I'm worried about what they would think. Can't let any of. them know... >.> (except my gf)

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First you need to get rid of the self loathing and shame! A professional may be what you need! You have to make peace with yourself before you worry about what others will think! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae

thanks hun... Yeesh maybe ur right about that professional thing. But I wonder how much that would cost.. lol aforementioned I am poor.
Also, nice signature!

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drEdge,

First of all, let's be clear. You are not going to get professional help on this forum, and that is what you should seek if the things you've described are really bothering you, and it sounds like they are.
You list some classic signs and symptoms of being transsexual, but you also list some that would rule out that diagnosis. It may be that "gender fluid" is a better term for you. Whatever label turns out to be the right one, labels won't fix you. That's on you. You will need to find a way to resolve the conflict between your fear of "freaking out" all those people in your life and the transgender feelings that are probably going to be a permanent part of you. Yes, you might successfully suppress them for a long time. Many of us have at one time or another, and most of those have found that it is a pointless fight. The feelings will come back, usually stronger and often at a markedly inopportune time, well into a long term relationship, for example.
There is nothing "wrong" with you. The professional help recommendation isn't because you need "fixing". It is because you need to find a way to find out who you are and accept it. And by the way, sexual preference usually has very little to do with gender identity. I am acquainted with three trans women. Two of them are not attracted to men. Most cross dressers, by far, are heterosexuals. And of course there are many who, like you, have sexual preferences that shift with their gender identity.
So give some thought to counseling and let someone help you figure out for yourself "what to think about" yourself.

Meanwhile, you are welcome, accepted and understood here. Your story is common and you will find many of us who can relate directly to the issues you're having.

Hugs,


Kelly

Thank you SO much for your heartfelt reply, tearing up a little here. Wait ... "there are many who have sexual preferences that shift with their identity"? Oh thank God! I thought I was alone in this. Why didnt anyone tell me?! Your making sense to me girl... your right labels wont change anything... maybe i should just give up on labels and find peace that way. gah I feel so much more enlightened after reading this thread, but yet still so confused. Maybe yall are right about that professional help idea... I guess after reading this thread... I feel like being gender fluid sounds like it might be right for me... .I could see myself switching back between the two genders that sounds amazing to me. Although here's my next problem... I still have friends and family and an SO who are all pretty in the dark about this. I don't know... what do I do? Just say 'sup guys, so Im a girl today'? What would my next step be?

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First if you envy a transgender person, you haven't got a clue what it is like. And they are all different. Gender fluid has been used to describe me. I represent as a guy at work and live as a transgender person the rest of the time. No matter what I'm wearing I'm the same person. I'm out. Im comfortable in whatever I'm wearing. I'm also BI, but only date guys right now, although that almost changed the other night at karaoke. They are just labels. I'm eather very free or crazy.

Yeah, I know it's a tough road as Louis said in the quote I posted. I am well aware they are not without their own problems. I just envy them in that one regard.
Yeah I suppose I could be considered bi too lol. But your right, those are just labels. Free and crazy!? now those are some labels I can get behind.