Natalie;
Thanks for your kindness.
Betrayed isn't quite right. Surprised or disappointed perhaps.
I've read the "coming out" accounts of countless forum sisters. It is always a tricky affair, especially unveiling your inner self to people who have known you for a long time. Those people, including the wife, knew me as something entirely different from ILENE. And I very much understand how people may feel I had been less than honest in concealing my "issues". It's not a matter of lying or deceiving to hide crossdressing, it just was never a reasonable option to come out in a world that doesn't get it.
In a very real sense, "I get it" from the perspective of a spouse, sibling or friend who is ambushed by the news. In the back of my mind I hoped and prayed for the best; at least a response that didn't threaten the relationship. It is always a crap shoot on how specific loved ones may receive the news. And since I am the one changing the situation, I also have to responsibly accept that too have to be understanding (of their perspective).
THINGS ARE GOING TO GET BETTER. I believe this with all my heart. In my most dire situations The Lord has worked, and often worked through Ilene my inner woman [read my signature line] to save the day. Things will improve because we both want it to improve. I won't store up or save any hurtful words to be used in the future. I want no conflict so I have no need for weapons in this case. My heart (and the wife's too) is fixed on a future together, as we've always been. We have a goal. I just need to find the safe path there.
It is in the Lord's hands, and She has never failed me yet.
