This is a very interesting topic as my wife and I had a similar discussion just the other night. My wife knows fully that I am a crossdresser and is currently OK with that knowledge. She has seen pictures of me dressed and often sees me in panties. So far she is accepting. I openly asked her what she would think if we planned a day where she left for the afternoon and I dressed for her return. She initially stated that she might not be happy with that if I chose to do that without her knowledge. But she thought about it and said she might be OK with it if we both had agreed in advance. Then our conversation moved on to her asking why I felt the need to wear full make up and wear body shaping attire. My impression (might be wrong) was the make up and wig might be the tipping point of her acceptance/ understanding of her husband desire to crossdress. I wish there was an easy explanation I could provide but so far I have none. I wish I understood what it is about dressing that holds my appeal so much. I do think seeing pictures of me fully dressed and seeing me fully dressed in person are not the same. The good news is my wife does make an effort to seek to understand and I truly believe she is not judgmental but actually has a desire to openly discuss my desires for her better understanding.
I am not sure that I have the courage to dress in front of my wife yet. I am a crossdresser who enjoys being enfemme when I have the opportunity but I do not have a desire to dress full time all the time.
Having open conversations about crossdressing desires is not easy but it sure has been helpful in our relationship. So we take our time share our thoughts and find common ground. Talking things out and being open and honest isn't easy for me but it sure has been a blessing for my wife and me. One thing she has made perfectly clear to me is her knowing about my dressing and me not hiding my dressing from her is more tolerable than leaving what my dressing is about to her imagination. I guess to sum it up her knowing what I do when dressed her efforts to understand it is better that her wondering what this desire is all about.
Learning how other couples deal with this has been insightful. Thanks all for you life's experiences.
