I don't quite know where to begin, and I know if I put too little there will be more questions than advice, but I'll do my best.
My bf came out to me a few months ago and has been slowly introducing me into his/her other world, interests and alter ego. I have been trying to be as open, supportive, caring and understanding as I can be so far, and he in turn has tried to do the same with me, being very new to all of this and not trying to overwhelm me at the same time. He has a lot of interests and is worried I'll still run if he shares too much and it scares me (more from past experiences, nothing I, specifically, have made him feel).
Today, I did a search on his female name and was overwhelmingly shocked with what came up. He had told me some of it, but I am thinking it is the tip of the Titanic sinking iceberg and while I have asked him questions (up till now) and I can only assume that he is being completely honest with me, I am also wondering how many more indirect/direct questions I am going to have to ask him or how many more things I am going to discover on my own before I find out everything there is to know. Today's surprise: He was (or is?) an escort. Geared toward females but males as well, which he has told me on numerous occasions he is not into. He did all of this while he was single about a year ago giving himself the freedom to fully discover his female side. I have already told him that we need to talk, which he says he is open to do, he's also asked me to stay open to an explanation (not knowing specifically what I discovered) and that he doesn't want to lose me. I know he loves me very much, and I him, all of him that I know of so far, but I am starting to worry about how much more I can take. I told him that I need to get it all out on the table, no more trickling of information. We agreed to no secrets, no lies, and I need to know now what I am fully getting into.
I am sure his need for secrecy, or whatever it is, comes from years of hiding and embarrassment, and while we will talk, I just really don't know what to do about this. Any advice for a situation like this would be very greatly appreciated. And please, I am not looking for the "Run fast. Run far." type of responses, I just feel uncertain and a bit scared and don't know what to do.
Thank you for reading,
g