Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenMe View Post
How do you intend to confront him about your new knowledge? By admitting your search, and the reasons that led to the search? Is he going to be hurt by your invasion of his privacy? If he searched your past, is there anything that he would find that would make you uncomfortable?
I can appreciate your point. I was searching him/her because I am/was curious and wanting to understand. He had told me that he had a blog and that was initially what I was looking for, which he even told me he expected me to do that. I have looked up lots of things he has suggested from other conversations, and when i told him what I found even he was surprised that it was still out there. No, I didn't tell him right away exactly what I found, because there was actually a lot (pictures - some of which I had seen, a video - nothing bad, the blog I mentioned and the escort info). I don't see it as an invasion of privacy if it is out there on the internet for anyone that knows him to see, though. I didn't go through his personal things, I wasn't looking at his laptop or call phone, just the net, and thankfully he didn't see it that way either. It might make me sound bland and boring, perhaps even by comparison, but he knows all the sordid details, albeit different, of my past and if he did a search of me there is nothing to find. I am pretty straight laced and vanilla, as it were.

To all, thank you for all the replies, I was honestly surprised when I came on here and saw them all, it really means a lot. We did talk about this last night. I opened the floor to him and asked him if he would be open, honest and tell me everything he thought I should know. As I said, he was giving me this information slowly, initially saying he was trying to protect me. He admitted yesterday that in doing that, he was also trying to protect himself. He has never told anyone all of this, he has never been with anyone he could, and he admitted he didn't know how. Yes, it probably would have been better if he had told me before I found it, yes it probably would have been better if I had continued to just let him tell me at his own pace rather than doing the search I did and discovering what I did, but what's done is done and probably for the better.

He told me basically about the last 10 years of his life, what led him to certain things and how this all came to be. It was all very sad, listening to him and watching him break down telling me about the some of the darkest years of his life and what he has been through. Thankfully, he kind of emphatically admitted that he didn't make it as an escort because he couldn't get past the hurdle of meeting and payment. He texted with people, but nothing more. All I can do is take him at his word, as I am of the belief that I trust people until they give me a reason not to, and so far and from what he has told me and opened up to me about, I have no reason not to take him at his word. He also admitted other things that left me to believe that this was indeed true. It wasn't for drugs, but purely a monetary motivation of a desperate man who was quickly losing everything and trying desperate measures not only to escape reality (by becoming his feminine counterpart), but potentially using that to make money, which is a direction some others had told him to try.

I certainly don't think he is the person he was a year ago, certainly not in the same position in his life, and I also agree and believe that our pasts shape and define the people who we are today. Both of us (as I am sure many, if not all, of you) have had pretty rough lives in one way or another, we have both had our struggles and are just trying to do the best we can to get through life and do the best we can for those that we love.

He told me that he wished there were certain things he had never done and how sometimes all of "this" (meaning crossdressing and his/her other associated interests) would just go away, but he knows they can't, so I told him that I am doing my best accept that part of him/her, but I need him to accept that in himself. We are doing the best we can to support one anther on this journey of ours, and I am very thankful for how open he has been with me and willing to talk about these things and my concerns and questions as they come up, that to me is a very big thing as I haven't had a lot of that in my life with others.

Anyway, that was longer than I intended, I apologize, but again I want to thank you all for reading my post and offering your support and thoughts.
Oh, and he has been in counselling as well.

-g (and I will watch the video, thank you )