Deanna - thanks for reaching out for different opinions. I agree with most that he will not stop dressing nor seeing other men (or will become very frustrated). My wife has always said that if I cheated on her our marriage would be over - there would be no recovery. I have a great wife and have never been tempted to stray
From what you stated the dressing is probably something you could learn to cope with but for the infidelity -- where is the line for you? Once you reconcile that within yourself then the other issues can be dealt with through open/honest communication (w/ or w/o a counselor). Is this man someone you wish to remain with after knowing about his infidelity. I am not separating the infidelity between a man or a woman - cheating is cheating. The fact that he was meeting men may also be an issue for you but that is secondary, as is the cross dressing, to your thinking on the infidelity.
There is not a right or wrong answer - the true answer for you lies within you. I wish you well as you work through this.
Hugs - Karen
