I respect your choice, but I, too, am wondering about the counselor. I have a daughter who is a therapist and in her work she tries to help two struggling people find a middle ground, i.e. to set boundaries. Nobody should have to give up something so fundamental as the expression of their true identity. That is simply not right. As Racheal said, the solution is establishing some boundaries that may not be fully comfortable for either but is sufficiently comfortable that it will not be a major issue. One sided ultimatums serve only the one who set the ultimatum unless the other person fully agrees to the ultimatum. Sometimes it is for the best, but more often it will create other issues because the loss of freedom leaves a hole that has to be filled with something and that something is sometimes resentment. I wish you the best of luck, but I think you may need to take a different approach and question the counselor about the importance of compromise on both sides.
