Interacting

[Pat]

So as someone who doesn't psss close inspection doesn't this show that 1, most folks are nice and 2, it's good to talk.

Yes it does. Though I might extend it a bit to say most people are nice if they are approached in a nice way. And I think it's valuable that as you pass through life you leave a wake of folks who now have the experience of having met a trans person and who will be basing their perceptions on the memory of that rather than on (potentially hateful) internet articles.

[Teresa]

Pat,
I hope very much that is how it will continue for me , so far its' worked out OK . OK not everyone will be happy with coming into contact with a trans person . I still find men don't look you in the eye but most women will give you a smile . Many have never seen a trans /CDer before so we can always expect the odd reaction at times, it's only human nature .

[kimdl93]

With each encounter, you’re displacing stereotypes with a real, friendly person. That’s how the world changes.

[sometimes_miss]

Most people simply like to avoid conflict, and, generally, smile and engage us in polite conversation. The problem becomes if you try to establish a relationship with them. That's when you'll find out just how accepting, or tolerating, they really are. Talking to a nice couple? Terrific! Then try to invite the husband alone down to the local sports bar for a few drinks while you're 'en femme'. See how well that goes over. Things can change very quickly once it becomes very real, and 'in their backyard'.

[Pat]

Most people simply like to avoid conflict, and, generally, smile and engage us in polite conversation. The problem becomes if you try to establish a relationship with them.

Lexi, I think you're taking it a step past what was under discussion. When I'm out and about all I'm looking for is polite conversation/behavior. Establishing a relationship beyond that is a whole 'nuther situation. I admit I'm introvert but I have to know someone pretty well before I pull out the "let's go down to the local sports bar" card. I'd be suspicious and stand-offish to anyone who seemed to want to pull me into their lives based on a two-minute conversation and I'd expect them to feel the same way.

[DMichele]

Helen,
Thanks for sharing your 'naturally you' travels and dining. Your experience is very helpful.

Teresa,
I can relate to your observation as I have experienced the a eye contact thing while picking up a takeout order at a local restaurant.

Pat,
I still find men don't look you in the eye but most women will give you a smile . Many have never seen a trans /CDer before so we can always expect the odd reaction at times, it's only human nature .

It leaves to wonder, if UK's general population is generally more accepting than the US.

[Teresa]

DMichele,
From many threads and comments it has been a surprise to me but I do now think the UK is more accepting. Maybe Helen would agree , she is discovering most of the fears are in our heads . I'm quite envious of her little trip but I'm about to find the rest of this out for myself, going out socially is great, mixing with the public in a hotel has been an eye opener but I still haven't done everyday activities and dressed accordingly . Apart from a day out dressed to attend a pride week at Boston (UK) College , I have to say I really enjoyed that .

As I've said before doing everyday is proving harder than going out dressed up socially , finding the right wig , how little makeup to wear .

[StephanieM]

About half the time, I'm terrified of interacting with the world in drab, much less in femme.

[Rogina B]

I say it often here.."It is only a big deal [gender expression] if you make it one"..Meaning,in this case..If you act like a scared rabbit,then they will treat you as one. Comfortably engage people in pertinent conversation and you will blend right in. I don't believe the UK,Canada,or the US holds a lead on acceptance..It is what you make it.

[Helen_Highwater]

Most people simply like to avoid conflict, and, generally, smile and engage us in polite conversation. The problem becomes if you try to establish a relationship with them. That's when you'll find out just how accepting, or tolerating, they really are. Talking to a nice couple? Terrific! Then try to invite the husband alone down to the local sports bar for a few drinks while you're 'en femme'. See how well that goes over. Things can change very quickly once it becomes very real, and 'in their backyard'.

Sometimes,

I don't think it's possible to take what are casual encounters and extrapolate those into inviting someone's partner out for drinks. If in drab I had such a brief conversation with someone the last thing I'd do is start inviting them out for drinks. That would just seem way to weird even creepy. In my update see #12, I describe meeting and talking with a group of people in a restaurant while sharing a table. I do believe that if out paths crossed again and we all ended up in the same restaurant at the same time, they would engage with me again. Repeat and a albeit casual friendship would ensue. Much as in the same way it might if I weren't enfemme when we met. However the big difference is, had I been in drab, I don't think the conversation would have got started in the first place.

DMichele,
From many threads and comments it has been a surprise to me but I do now think the UK is more accepting. Maybe Helen would agree , she is discovering most of the fears are in our heads . I'm quite envious of her little trip but I'm about to find the rest of this out for myself, going out socially is great, mixing with the public in a hotel has been an eye opener but I still haven't done everyday activities and dressed accordingly . Apart from a day out dressed to attend a pride week at Boston (UK) College , I have to say I really enjoyed that .

As I've said before doing everyday is proving harder than going out dressed up socially , finding the right wig , how little makeup to wear .

Teresa,

All that's different between social gatherings and going out in muggle land is the doing. Makeup? slightly lighter eye shadow and lippy (avoid the red gash). Lower heels or flats as they're more suited for walking the mall. Skirt and blouse will do fine. From what I've seen from your pics your wig suits you so no problem there.

Anything else is in the mind. Even despite my time spent out if I hear someone laughing while I walk though a store I still think is it at my expense. If I look to see it never is. It's just folks going about their daily lives. So here's my plan for you. Pick a dept store where you can park outside, say Debenhams or M&S. Deep breath, pull up yer knickers and head for the front door. Know that you will get read at some point but just own your space, be British, stay calm and carry on. Browse the racks for a while then head for the cafe. Have a drink and a lite bite while just sitting like everyone else does. Once done, if your confidence is high enough go grab something you like the look of from the racks and go try it on. That is way easier than in seems. After all, you're in a little room full of mirrors by yourself. And if what you've chosen you really like. Treat yourself and buy it. That would be your reward other than knowing you'd taken that first step to a wider future.

If I can take my 5'10" 14 stone frame out there I'm dam sure you can do the same.