Change in reasons for crossdressing

[Jasmine Rose]

So, I have observed that the reasons for getting dressed up have changed for me recently. This is actually one of the big reasons I felt the need to reach out to a community like this.
When I first tried on a pair of my moms panties and a bra, (early teenage years) it gave me a sexual thrill to wear them. Later in life, whenever I would indulge in dressing up, it was always because it turned me on to do so.
Recently, like over the last couple of months, I have started dressing up around the house for the joy of being dressed. There is something freeing and relaxing about being dressed like a woman. Sure, it is still a turn on for me, but it is so much more than that now.
I really don't know what it is that has changed. I am 37 years old. I thought I was done figuring out who I am. I know I am not "old", but I thought I understood myself pretty well 10 years ago. Now I find myself questioning some very basic things about what makes me me.
Has anyone else had this kind of experience later in life like I have? Does this sound familiar? How have you dealt with these questions?
The questions on the previous line feel so big, I almost feel like I am asking too much. I just don't know where else to turn to ask these things.

[Denise S]

Jasmine, those are the exact feeling and experience that I have had. I too love to dress as a woman around the house. For me this isn’t going away the feeling of feminity just gets stronger with time. I have always crossdressed but about four years ago in my late fourties it real started taking over, I opened an amazon account and began buying a woman’s wardrobe plus wigs and forms. I don’t know where this will take me, but for now I love dressing as a woman. I also joined this community, to hear about others experiences. I done lurking, it’s a small step.

[Becky Blue]

Jasmine i was like you (the old you) from age 12 to age 39.. and the literally overnight that changed. Thats when Becky emerged and I realised that dressing was no longer a turn on at all. My theory is lowering of testosterone in midlife brings out something that was there all along.

[Lizzie Skirts]

I agree. Dressing used to be intensely sexual, but has morphed into more of an expression of personality. I’m 43 now.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I'm not sure why it would surprise you that you feel differently to how you felt 10 years ago? In another 10 years you're going to look back at today with some puzzlement too. It's called growing up.

You like wearing women's clothes, you always liked wearing women's clothes; you're just less horny than you used to be.

[Isabella Ross]

Yes...this was the case for me as well, Jasmine. But I'd offer a caveat: for me, dressing will always have an element of sensuality, even if it's no longer all about arousal and gratification. As someone in the crossdreamers camp, I tend to think there will always be a gender/sexuality connection for me. What does that mean? I suppose it's just that, these days, expressing femininity is about feeling alive, sensual, sexy, feminine, free and pretty. I am more sexually alive when I am free to be feminine. Does that make any sense?

[Julia1984]

Hi Jasmine
Yes. Absolutely. For me it happened literally overnight. I had a very odd dream that I was shopping for shoes to go with a red velvet cocktail dress with my wife. The odd thing was that I was wearing the dress. The odder thing was that she was totally fine about it. I jumped right in head first. It turned out my wife was absolutely NOT fine about it. But hey ho we live and learn.
I love Nikki's comment (as ever) and I wouldn't mind betting that there is at least a grain of truth in that. I "started" at about age 8 or 9. Then stopped. Then started properly after that event. I'm 51 now (Yeuch, so much wasted time).
So not at all unusual, I think.
Hugs
Juliax

[alwayshave]

Jasmine, for me dressing started when I was 4 or 5, so long before there was any sexual component. When I went through puberty, it turned highly sexual. Now I dress for how I feel, not for anything sexual.

[Rayleen]

Jasmine, at first its a sexual excitement for the first few years here too, but after its a getting in contact with your need to get in touch with your dormant feminine side. It becomes a necessity and a part of my life.

Enjoy the ride Jasmine.

[Raychel]

There is something freeing and relaxing about being dressed like a woman. Sure, it is still a turn on for me, but it is so much more than that now

that pretty much says it for me, Not so much of a turn on as I get older, But the relaxing part for sure.
I just feel so much more relaxed, A sort time to escape from the world and just be me.

[Helen_Highwater]

Very similar to for me. I was always drawn to the clothes but in younger years it was accompanied by sexual fantasies. Those ebbed over the years until, as I grew older, I to grew to know that sense of calmness enjoyed while dressed.

I will add that it's a lovely place to be in. If you're a young CDer and you are in that stage of having a sexual element to your dressing then you have much to look forward to. It just gets better and better.

[CarlaWestin]

All I want to add is that the next forty years are going to be fabulous. That is of course, that you follow your own heart and not the predetermined narrowness of others.

[Pat]

I can't give an authoritative answer as to why it happens, but it's a very common story in the community. Personally, I think of it as a good thing, so congratulations! The sexual aspect of dressing, though common at the beginning, has been identified by psychologists as "an extinction behavior" meaning that the behavior disappears over time but the crossdressing remains. (Not meaning that you become extinct from doing it, which is what it sounds like to me. )

If you had not previously considered yourself transgender, it might be time to study up. If you do accept yourself as transgender, it seems to be a natural progression on your path. (Do not confuse the term transgender with the term transsexual -- that's the most common mistake on this forum.)

[BillieS]

There is something freeing and relaxing about being dressed like a woman. Sure, it is still a turn on for me, but it is so much more than that now.

That rings so true to me. The same sort of change came over me a few years ago, a little later in life than for you. I've enjoyed the change immensely.

[Michal82]

Hi
I am going through a similar phase over the past 2-3 years. I am 36 yo.
For me, besides feeling less turned on during dressing, i feel a stonger urge to go out en-femme. Also, I am now dressing mostly in drab, and just doing everyday things.
I don't know where this path is taking me, but i enjoy the ride...

Have fun,
Michal

[JeanTG]

It's actually a very common experience for cross-dressers, and one that I share as well. Although it is very rare now I will from time to time get a "thrill" out of it, shall we say; maybe 1 or 2 times a year. I'm in my early 60s. However those times I get the "thrill", I probably would have sought it out regardless of whether dressed or not.

There's no question that while gender identity and sexual expression are different, they are greatly intertwined. Eventually, I suppose as our sex drives decline with age, the former takes precedence over the latter. It's a change I welcome as well. When the sexual component was part of the deal, once I had the thrill, the session was over and replaced with shame and emptiness. Now a dressing session lasts as long as the time I have available (and when my wife is away it can be measured in days).

[Elizabeth G]

Hi Jasmine,

I think you will find your experience is not uncommon. I'm 53 years old and have been dressing since I was about 11. In my youth my dressing was highly sexually charged. As I got older my desire to dress would disappear, sometimes for years at a time, but it would always return. The difference I noticed was that as time marched on the sexual component of my dressing became less and less prevalent. Not, at 53, my desire to dress and capture my femininity is the strongest it has ever been but sexuality doesn't enter the picture.

Elizabeth

[Monique65]

I will agree. I've been underdressing full time since retiring and the strong sexual urges of my youth have been replaced by the "peaceful, easy feeling" of being myself.

[Nikki A.]

I think most of us all went through the sexual stage of our dressing. However after a while I found that the sexual part was replaced by what some call a "peaceful" feeling.
As for me, at this point in time I may get aroused sometimes (not very often) while dressing. But mostly it seems that I'm just letting a side of me that needs to be repressed have some time out in the sun. I do go out, do the mundane things (church, groceries, shop). It all seems normal and I do wish that I could be Nikki more than once a week.

[Beverley Sims]

I have undergone the gradual change over the years, as I dress more constantly other ideas occupy my mind these days.

[Confucius]

Jasmine, you are describing what many of us have gone through.
I think that makes you a typical crossdresser. For many of us older crossdressers, its about being comfortable more than being sexual.

[Shayla]

Hi Jasmine. I have recently been going through the same thing- what I thought for years was a "lingerie fetish" has become an intense desire to get fully dressed and even go out in public, bit not for sexual reasons. Still working up the courage to do it, and the logistics, but I think it will happen soon.

[docrobbysherry]

Jasmine I have good news and bad news! The good news is you're still growing and changing!

The bad new is your still growing and changing!

At least I was at your tender age. I got married in my 40's. Had a daughter in my 50's.
Began dressing in my 50's, (it turned me on), and am still dressing in my 70's! And, it still turns me on!:D

Maybe you'll be lucky like me when u grow up!

[Stephanie47]

I probably fit the profile of "alwayshave" (#8). As a juvenile I was attracted to my mother's nylon full slips which she hanged to dry in the bathroom or a clothesline in the hallway. It was purely for the feel of the fabric. I had and still have no desire to become a woman. In my puberty years I was a normal boy who explored his sexuality. When I found myself still attracted to nylon slips and nightgowns it progressed to try on her bra and panties, stocking and one or two dresses I was able to squeeze into. Yes, there was a sexual component. Was wearing lingerie any different than grabbing a Playboy magazine. In later years cross dressing developed into something to use to escape the burdens of male life. As I aged the sexual component lessened. Now it is just to feel good. Since I am not a woman I cannot say it feel makes me feel like a woman. I just love the feel of the clothing, the colors and styles. Maybe one day deciding what to wear will be just that; grabbing something from the other side of the closet and nothing more. If I were a single man that is how I would start my day.

[michele4848]

Hi Jasmine. same for me dressing at 8-12 cause it was fun. then early teens sexual. then in my 30s cause it felt right, and thought about transitioning. and now at 69, no sexual thrill, I still wish I could be a woman.