Hi Rian,Originally Posted by 2BArianwen
For me, the standout question of your OP is his "the woman I believe I am". Is this a question as part of the bigger question, or your statement. If this is the true statement, then it's time to join the TS forum and explore your gender ID, right? Your question implies, most likely, that if the world were accepting, the need to pass "might" go away, but the other side of the coin is that your need to pass covers a desire to be the woman you believe you are.
We're all so different, especially in the TS side of things, where already being 1% of 1% there are so few of us, but some thoughts:
1. there are times when I need/want to present as much as possible as to, while not pass, show my effort is such that I'm accepted as presenting as a woman and not caricaturing a woman. There are many more times when that does not matter one bit, where I'm being me without a mask, no pretense - and maybe because it is safe where I live, I can do this. Before I was on HRT my dysphoria was all the greater and therefore my need to present well was to compensate, but now I'm on them (and "mr angry" is gone) the need is relaxed.
2. clothing choices might be a considerable difference between the CD and the TS: the contrast between "sexual thrill and dressing as a tart" (as extreme example) compared with "creating my style, my wardrobe, dressing to express by female identity as a normal woman".
3. there are regional/local variations in female expression. Where I live, almost no women wear makeup, but last weekend I visited my cousin in Kent, and every woman was made up. In those contexts one seeks to match the local or do what is most comfortable in the context. This has a factor on passing levels.
4. The woman within might be the man's inner feminine, she might be the true self, or she might be "the goddess". a good psychotherapist might help explore this.
xxx Pam
