You are in the wrong bathroom........

[hosekid]

The other night I went out with the wife to a movie and dinner. All was going well as usual, but then I needed to go to the restroom. (BAD) I try to plan my restroom trips so that people will have as little discomfort as possible. I try to stop at places that have single room, or family restrooms. Next would be fast food places that are not busy. My last choice is anywhere that is busy. I go to the women's restroom because there is never anyone in the bathroom when I am around. But on this night, the movies were crowded and there was no family bathroom. Plus, there were a ton of younger kids there. So I decided that since I am not a transsexual, just a crossdresser, and that so many people in my conservative area are always on facebook complaining about the bathroom issue, I would use my birth gender restroom. I think it would be better for me to use the ladies room when I am wearing a dress pantyhose and heels, but since I know I only pass 50 percent of the time, and that how I dress isnt really anyone's business, and I don't really care what people think anyhow, then it doesnt matter to me where I pee. So lo and behold some guy comes up to me as soon as I walk in and tells me that I am in the wrong bathroom. I tell him thanks, but I have this handled. He insists that I leave and go to the womens bathroom. Sooo, I used my hush voice with him and ask if he really wants me to go to the bathroom with his wife and kids. He says you're probably right, sorry. Then he leaves. I got quite a few looks while I was in there. (less than 3 minutes) My question is do people want us to use the womens room, the mens room or just not use the bathroom at all?

[Nicole Erin]

People are going to have a problem no matter what.
Aside the family/single occupancy restrooms, there is no correct answer.
I am surprised a man would have a problem because it is kind of a no-no to bother others in the men's room.

If this stupid restroom law had never been pushed there would be less problems. TG have been using the restrooms of their chosen gender for years but suddenly it is a problem.

[Alice_2014_B]

Only time I used the restroom in public in fem-mode was at the local comedy club.
I just went to the urinal, hiked up my dress and went, no one else was in there.

[Chloe Triss]

Just use the female bathroom. Because with what you're wearing, women/girls can't and just don't assume your gender and women bathroom only have locked rooms. As for me I just use any bathroom if I feel like it since I've been assumed as a tomboy for most of time so I can use the male bathroom + the female bathroom wearing my boy clothes. Unlike men who usually speak their minds, women tend to keep things secret to themselves, maybe gossip about you but the fact remains that they probably won't stop you from using the female bathroom.

Good luck next time
Hope Chloe advice helps.....<3

[Teresa]

Hosekid,
It looks like we are never going to please everyone ! I usually use disabled toilets , if I have to use the male ones I head for a cubicle. On one occasion the disabled one was out of use as I stood considering the options a GG from our group dragged me by the arm into the female ones saying no one is going to know you're not a woman !

[stephNE]

When I need to go, I use the women's room. I feel its safer for me in there. I do try to go at home before I go out, and most times I'm back home within a couple hours, so there is no need to go while I'm out. But sometimes I am out for the entire day, and then I have no choice. Go in and go straight into a stall, do you business, wash and leave quickly. Don't look at other women, etc.

[Helen_Highwater]

Hosekid,

Sorry but I feel I need to call foul. Your comment about, "Did he really want you shaing a bathroom with his wife and kids" makes us out to be in someway perverted. That in using the ladies his family will suffer harm.

Saying what you did reinforces negative stereotypes. Something along the lines of, "Sorry but I'm conscious of causing offence to some females so I thought it best to come here" shows consideration on your part. That you are aware of those around you. Follow that up with, "Do you think your wife would be offended?" places the onus on him. Does he want to make his wife look a bigot. If he answers "Yes" then ask "So where do I go if neither of you want me with them?"

I understand the pressure choosing which bathroom to use brings, certainly at busy times. Standing waiting for a cubicle to come free isn't something I'd feel comfortable doing. Thankfully I've always been able to fall back on using the disable toilet up to now but I'm sure it's a dilemma I'll face at some time.

I have given thought to this and have my choice of words outlined in my head should a GG make a comment about my presence. It's along the lines of, "I don't want to run the risk of some bloke getting physical and one or both of us getting hurt". "Trust me, I'm not here for any other reason than taking a pee in safety" "I certainly don't want to cause offence" Hopefully dialogue will work. Time will no doubt tell.

[carolyn todd]

Hosekid
i've just come back from a ten day female holiday dressed 24/7, i am told i past at a distant but not close up but i had no problem going into the ladies toilet (bathroom)for a pee for me it was a case of go in
have a pee,wash my hands, check my dress, face, powder, lipstick and out not looking at any one else.
if i am dress female i will use the ladies if i am dressed as a male i will use the gents.

Carolyn

[Sandra]

I used my hush voice with him and ask if he really wants me to go to the bathroom with his wife and kids.

Really what a thing to say. The majority of the public think that any trans person is perverted, and totally disagree when presenting as female using the female toilets, you saying this just confirmed their thoughts and set the community back. Sorry but it was totally the wrong thing to say.

[alwayshave]

Hosekid, I'm going to agree with Helen, your comment reinforces the notion of troglodytes and small minded religious zealots.

[kimdl93]

I’m going to guess that he actually thought you were a woman and thought he was being helpful.

To the larger issue, I really don’t think most people give a darn which bathroom anyone uses, so long as they don’t have to wait in line!

[Krisi]

If you're dressed as a female and reasonably pass as a female, you should be using the women's restroom unless it's illegal in your area. If you're dressed as a female but look like Hulk Hogan in drag, you probably shouldn't use the woman's restroom. That may leave you no other choice than to use the men's restroom. Of course, restrooms are something we should plan for before we go out so keep this in mind. Sometimes it pays to scout out our outing destinations beforehand.

[Micki_Finn]

I’ve always used the ladies room but I’m out here on the west coast that’s pretty liberal, and I pass better than some so I’ve never had an issue.

[Rachael Leigh]

For me if I’m dressed en fem I will not do the men’s room, I’m way more comfortable in the ladies room.
I just make sure I don’t talk much if any if I’m spoken too. It’s just do my business and leave.
Never had an issue

[Stephanie47]

More than once I have been at a sport's venue and a woman has entered yelling "woman on board!" Of course, she always heads for the stall. The usual explanation is the very long lines at the ladies' room. I've also seen mother's come into a men's room to protect their sons from perverts who prey on little boys.

The next time I would recommend when en femme in the men's room is head directly to a stall, not a urinal. Maybe you should write to that ABC program "What would you do?" That would be interesting.

[Becky Blue]

I have happily used the Ladies in Australia and the USA it has never been a problem. I think more people will be concerned with seeing a fully dressed and made up 'woman' in the mens.

I also have to agree with the others above, what you said to the guy about using the ladies with his wife and kids, is really not a great comment.

[DIANEF]

I have yet to be in this situation but I once asked my wife if she had any issues with 'trannies' (that is what she calls CDs who visit the supermarket she works at) from using the ladies toilets if she was in there. Her reply was, 'no, so long as they behaved themselves'... I didn't press her on what she meant, maybe I should have.

[Tracii G]

I just use the facilities for which gender I am at that time and there have never been any issues.
Its a lot safer that way. I have been doing it that way long before any stupid law was enacted.
Its one of those laws that no one will follow or pay attention to anyway.
Trans people have been doing it that way longer than I have been on this planet and its never been a problem so why now?
A lot of this stems from a small group of people that don't like something so they try and ruin things for others they don't agree with.

[Aunt Kelly]

Use the neutral facilities if available. If you have to choose, use the facility that corresponds to your presentation.
It's simple. Yes, it really is. The whole panic about trans people using bathrooms was an invention of a particular group of political animals, trying to appeal to a particular group of haters. Most people, by far, don't by that B.S. If you get in, take care of business and get out, just like any other woman, you'll likely get nothing more than a second glance, if that.

[t-girlxsophie]

I think tbh that guy was basically an ass,looking for an argument.I think too that this bathroom issue isn't as much of a problem as it is in the U.S. I have never in my years had a bad experience in the Ladies.

Ive been in some clubs where the women can't be bothered waiting in queues so jump into the men's And are these religious zealots up in arms when a young child is out with mum and she takes them into the Ladies it's crazy

[Tracii G]

Sophie here in the US its not as big a deal as they make it out to be so much you almost never hear about it anymore.
No trans person I know really cares about the law they just do what they have always done.

[t-girlxsophie]

Sophie here in the US its not as big a deal as they make it out to be so much you almost never hear about it anymore.

I'm happy to hear that,it did seem to go a wee bit OTT for a while there.

[hosekid]

I don't really know why my comment would be bad. Using someone's own argument against them when they change their story seems perfectly legit. I personally don't care what bathroom people use, but I will say that when my daughter is in the bathroom I monitor the door for any person who enters that sets red flags off. I usually stand just outside, and listen for her to call me if anything is awry, but there have been occasions when I have just went in after someone shady goes in. I hate to say that I intentionally make people uncomfortable, but when you are near my kids, you need to have a slightly uncomfortable feeling. So I guess I can see where some of these people are coming from. I mean, if we want them to understand our side of the situation, we have to be willing to understand theirs.

I would like to point out 1 example where I am in disagreement with genetic males using the ladies room. Teenagers. Trans or CD, they are still teenagers and lack impulse control. There is no way I want 15 year old angie/tommy in the bathroom at school with my 10 year old.

I also dont understand why someone who is a CD and does not have a gender identity disorder would oppose using the men's restroom if need be. If you are able to decide to wear a dress in public shouldn't you own it? I mean, I feel that I have just as much right to pee in the Men's room whether I am wearing a dress and heels or a 3 piece suit.

[IleneD]

You are a better girl than I am, Gunga Din. ;.... er, HoseKid.
I think you handled the situation with aplomb and grace. Don't know if I could have discreetly done the same.

[Tracii G]

Hosekid your comment did come off as promoting the assumption trans or CD people are perverts out to get "our" kids.
I was protective of my 2 daughters when they were little too but you need to understand your sons or daughters are way more likely to get abducted in a bathroom buy a person of the proper gender for that room than some trans person that just wants to pee.
We are all not Hulk Hogan in drag.
To your last paragraph you can pee in whichever room you wish but if I were to go in a men's room with several guys in there its quite possible they would not want me in there and maybe commit a crime agains't me.
Why walk into the lions den and expect not to be bitten.
I can own anything I do and have no problem defending myself but I'm not stupid.
I can choose to go to the ladies room and be drama free and be on my way. Isn't that much simpler?
Your incident went off just fine and the guy said OK so it worked out fine so no reason to worry over it.