There are a lot of things that never annoyed me but now that I'm older (50) I find annoying. Likewise, some things that really used to bother me I simply don't care about any more. I think it's perfectly natural for a spouse of a crossdresser to fluctuate in their levels of acceptance. Add in the fact that she has some stroke-related symptoms I think what you're describing is perfectly normal. The fact that you're in a melancholy mood over your crossdressing is also absolutely normal. I get that way as well from time to time.
